hearts of the Graspers
by Yuki Piaos
Summary: EirI wAs paRT oF niTTle GraSper? and HIs FirSt loVE iS TOuMa's SisTer? No woNder THeyre BeSt FrIeND. BUt RyuiChi's Also A lil intERestEd in hER! WhAt's goNNa HappEn?
1. prologue

**Prologue **

A pair of eyes glared at her in great anger, ready to tear the poor little girl into pieces, without any logical explanation.

"What the hell did I do…"

Before Kori could finish her sentence, a slap went right across her face, forcing her head to knock into the wall that was just next to her. It was the second slap given to her this year, by the same person. Stupidly enough, she did not defended herself neither did she did anything to resist. She would be struck by lightning if she did, after all, the person before her was her biological father in the flesh.

Confused and weak, Kori slowly pulled herself up from the cold marble floor into a sitting position. Her head was slightly bruised, but it did not hurt as much as it hurts inside her crystal made heart. Her only sibling stood around simply amused by the performance before him, doing nothing to stop the torture. Most of all, her father was neither drunk nor insane. Before she could even stand up, a kick of a fully muscled leg forced her to fall onto the floor again.

Kori stared into a distant light, shivered slightly from the pain from the bruises while her mother continued to reprimand her. She did not know what her mother was blabbering about neither did she want to find out, the only thing that got her attention was the light; the beautiful white light reflected from a blade that was driving her insane just by looking at it, but what else could it do to her?

_Blood._

She remembered the blood that flowed down her body. Ryuichi, her best friend, spilled his deadly sins on her. The spilled blood still reeks on her body, which started to rise when her tear flowed down her pale, creamy face.

Ignoring all factors, Kori stood right up and grabbed the blade, unnoticed. She ran into her room and locked the door, ignoring the screaming of her parents, which seemed to penetrate right into her head. She allowed her tired body on the soft bed, letting her tears drenched the blanket. She let go of the blade and covered her face, crying her heart our.

Unnoticed, blood flowed down and stained her beautiful pale complexion. As the blood from the cuts of her palm flowed, Kori licked on it gently with a light shiver.

_Dammit._

Tired from the tedious torture, Kori fell into her dreamland of her happy memories. Sleeping peacefully into the night.

**End

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**

Ohayo/Konichiwa/konbanwa minna san!

Hey, don't give me that boring look on your face. It really irritates me. Anyway I'm here to tell you guys the plot of this seeming so confusingly story. At least if you don't respect the story, respect me.

Time:

The story took place in the time where Ryuichi was still a high school student, which means the story took place earlier than Gravitation (even before Kitazawa appeared in their life.). Resulting in the difference of the characters' behavior between Gravi and this story.

Points that make this not a Gravi story in proper content:

Eiri is in the same class as Ryu, which will only mean that they're both having the same age. (I dragged his age up to fit my story, and for you girls and gays to drool at him.) Kori Seguchi is a character I made up to be Touma's sister, and she's the main character of the story. They'll all studying in the same school in Tokyo. There's no bubbly Shuichi or cool Hiro in the story, so don't damn me for not adding him in. (he's too young that time…poor thing.)

Last words:

I've already had written till chapter 9 of the story on an A4 sizednotebook and still continuing, it'll be a long time till I finish it. The first few chapters are quite short, but the number of words will keep increasing every chapter. I'll type the chapters and update every now and then only if I have the time okay? Sometimes there'll be lots of grammar mistakes in the content…PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME ABOUT IT, ONEGAI…tell you guys something really interesting about me, iam listening to Gravi music every time i write a story about it. (it made me really focused...) hahahahh...i really love the song ' Angel Dust ' and ' Sleepless Beauty '.

Now presenting chapter one 'The White Haired Sinner' hope you guys love it…


	2. The White Haired Sinner

**Chapter 1**

**The White Haired Sinner**

"Kori-chan! Wait for me!"

A voice went booming down the school corridors, breaking the beautiful silence of the morning.

Kori turned around and search the owner of the voice, finding a guy running up to her in lightning speed. The guy was wearing his school uniform quite untidily. Buttons undone, shirt not properly tucked in and a very badly done tie. Ryuichi as usual, hugging the pink bunny that Kori gave him for his birthday two years ago, was late for school.

"Man, you're so messed up, Ryuichi."

"I'm sorry, Kori chan. I had to rush to school this morning cause' the alarm clock's busted. Am I late for school?"

"Hell yeah, what do you think? It's already recess."

"What? You must be kidding me!"

Ryuichi opened his eyes really big and stared at his friend before him. He's really in some deep shit; he was late for three whole hours! Panicking, he screamed and grabbed onto the chibi-sized girl before him, apologizing to his very confused friend. Then gently, after Kori regained her coolness, she pushed the brunette away.

"What in the fuckin' hell are you apologizing to me? Just go and sign up for detention class!"

"Waa… Kori Seguchi is such a meanie!"

Kori flinched at her name and frowned. She grabbed onto Ryuichi's collar with full force, scaring the brunette with it.

"Idiot! Don't ever call me by my full name. Say in again and I'll tear Kuma-chan into pieces!" the girl yelled at she caught hold on the bunny as it was going to fall.

"Ahh… Kori! I'm sorry…I'm really sorry…" Ryuichi pleaded helplessly in defeat.

Kori let go of the collar, allowing the Brunette back onto the ground.

"I'm sorry, Kori-chan, I always seemed to forget that you hate the name so much." Ryuichi said as he saw his friend tiled her head down in upset. He stroked her white hair in attempt to calm her down before she breaks into crying. Then suddenly a big smile spread from the girl and helped Ryuichi to tidy his attire. Ryuichi was not shocked; he was used to it, but was concerned if the girl was really all right.

"Had you taken your pills today?"

Kori nodded and grabbed onto the brunette's hands, smiling in her super bubbly form.

" You want me to accompany you to detention room, Sakuma?"

"I'll love to." Ryuichi replied and patted on the girl's head as if she was a cute little kitten.

Before they could move even a step, a voice brushed by behind them, "Good afternoon, my lovely little sister." A pair of dirty green eyes and bleached blonde hair appeared, attracting attention from them and all the girls around them, who're all drooling at his looks. Ryuichi greeted his senior with a 'hi', while Kori used her best murderous look at the blonde.

"Hi, my dear little sister." The blonde greeted the girl.

"Don't 'hi' me, Mr. Touma Seguchi. I'm not your sister!" Kori replied with a frown back onto her face.

Seeing the change of emotions and personality of the girl, Touma sighed.

"Kori Seguchi, can't you just accept the fact that you're a Seguchi although you hate us so much?" Touma said calmly, resulting the girl to be angrier at his answer.

"Don't ever call me that you bastard. I'm never going back, did you hear me? Never!"

Kori turned away from her brother and stormed away with Ryuichi. Ryuichi silenced himself when he saw Kori's eyes flooded with tears.

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Up on the balcony, the wind blew lightly and gently into Kori's beautiful white locks. Her emerald green scanned the roads below. Ryuichi had left the apartment after he was done with his homework, leaving Kori all alone in the apartment with herself. The beautiful dusk does not seem to interest the girl. Kori was just there watching the vehicles zooming around on the roads of the busy Tokyo city, wishing that someone would just crash. Unfortunately for her, there was none.

Disappointed, she walked back into the building to warm her freezing hands. Kori got herself a hot coca, then returned to the living room. The room had a classic European taste with lots of music albums tying around the place, either on the table or untidily arranged around the DVD player. Kori placed her mug on the table and selected an album from the mess randomly.

"This looks quite appealing."

She smiled as she took out the disc and placed it into the DVD player and clicked the 'play' button. Music started to float the room with its rhythm. The music was mournful, but picked up with the beat from the drums and the electric guitars. There were no lyrics for the song, just the music.

The rhythm seemed to penetrate into that violated mind of hers', showing her her own pitiful life as a Seguchi. Nevertheless, she loved it. It seems to recite her life in its every tune. She lay down onto the couch and hummed together with the music, listening to it over and over again, absorbing every beat, every tune.

The more Kori's mind was filled with the bad memories of her life, she sighed in defeat and closed her eyes resting against the music. It wasn't her fault that she was born with white hair (or super bleach blonde hair) emerald green eyes that made her look so mush like a cat, and pale, creamy complexion. She looked quite ghostly and people like to treat her as the odds because of her looks. It's already the 21st century and people were still that ignorant.

"God dammit!" Yelled and tugged onto her white hair. Sighing in despair as she thought how god had been so unfair to her. Kori fell onto the couch with her tired mind and soul, falling asleep as the music continued to float around the room, calming her every senses into deep sleep.

* * *

**End**

After one hour of typing and eating in front of the Pc, I finally finished typing this chapter, plus a adding a few more details to make this crap more interesting, and checking on my grammar to make sure it does not sucks so much in this chapter…

Anyway about Kori's light skin and hair problem, she was born with something so called 'colour deficiency', like Eiri. But instead of looking like a westerner, she looked like a ghost because she was already a half westerner half Japanese like Touma A.K.A her brother.

Preparing for Chapter 2: Escape plan coming up next….

ReviEwS please……………


	3. Escape Plan

**Chapter 2 **

**Escape Plan**

Touma looked at himself in the mirror, touching his reflection. The room was not lighted, only the light from the stars and the moon shone in. It reflected into Touma's dirty green eyes. The eyes sparkled as the blonde's tears flowed down his beautiful face.

Guilt.

How much guilt did he accumulate in his life? How much to kill the relationship between him and Kori? Eiri told him to take it easy. How? How much must he atone to his debts to regain the love that was in before?

"Fuck." Touma said as he looked at the tainted face.

Yeah right, you're such a morbid fucking idiot to get your sister to be this mad at you. You're not even fit for her to even call you 'brother'. Anyway, you're not eve fit to be one.

"Shut up."

His conscience ignored the suggestion, chuckled and continued.

Oh, then what will you do to get her back into your arms? Kill your parents to redeem Kori from their torture? You can't, you don't even dared to. You're just there to let her die.

"This has nothing to do with mom and dad, okay?"

Oh, really? Why didn't you save her the time she was slash with the belt? Why didn't you save her when she was scaled by the boiling water? Why didn't you save her before she self-inflicted wounds on herself before Sakuma? It's because you're coward, coward.

"I'm not a coward! It's just …it's just that…I…"

Touma stopped. He could not finish his sentence. Why? Why didn't he stop or save his helpless little sister from the torture? His father never laid a finger on him, why?

The blonde's head probed in pain as he thought more about it. In frustration, he punched onto the mirror, cracking it in the process, as tears flowed freely down his face. He knew his knuckles were bleeding but he ignored. He picked up his mobile phone and dialed the number of his best friend.

"Hello? Eiri Uesugi speaking."

"It's Touma."

"Is anything the problem? Your voice sounds hoarse. Have you been crying or something?"

"Yeah something like that."

"Are you okay?"

"I think so."

"What do you mean by that, Touma? I'm pretty serious here ya know?"

"Okay, okay…stop being this pissy. You sound like Yamaguchi Sensei."

"Ew…that's disgusting. Anyway for what God's sake are you calling for?"

"I need your help."

"Ya sure, what do you want to do? As long as it does not involve killing or robbing, or any other things against the law, I'm in."

"Hahahaa…Okay."

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The stationeries were all over the desks, messy papers, and almost torn textbooks with lots of notes in them. Kori laid her head on the table, hoping the boring lecture would end soon. Ryuichi was already yawning away and the lecturer had caught him over and over again. The class was as well as dead, as each of the students waited for the school bell to ring.

"Uesugi kun!" The lecturer shouted all of a sudden, startling the whole class. "What are you doing? Playing video games in my class! Do you have any shame on yourself!"

"Yamaguchi sensei, I'm really sorry about that. But, your lesson is so damn boring." The blonde replied in his usual easy-going tone, angering the lecturer even more.

The lecturer was speechless as the crowd cheered for their brave 'warrior'. Eiri did not take much notice from the cheers. But instead, smiled at Kori to get her attention. Kori was stunned for a moment, then decided to smile back to the blonde.

Eiri, like Kori, was born with colour deficiency. The both of them had pale appearances that made them the odd ones out in school. But ironically, the both of them never had been friends; they never even spoke to one another before. Kori was always together with Ryuichi, but Eiri was always with Touma, not to mention Kori's worst enemy.

Kori smiled at the blonde with her cheery smile. Confusingly enough, Kori hated the guy as much as she hated Touma Seguchi and his family, but she was happy.

Eiri walked towards Kori, looking intensively at the girl with his sexy golden eyes, making the girl blush in embarrassment.

"Can we talk, Seguchi kun?"

"Don't call me that Uesugi," Kori replied in her cold tone as she heard the name, " 'Kori' will do."

"Okay Kori kun, but we really need to talk."

"About what? Homework?"

"No, it's about something else…"

Kori stared at the blonde in silence.

"Please."

"Okay, when and where?" she said in defeat of the innocent face.

"Today, after school, at the indoor basketball court… you can bring Sakuma kun if you want to."

"No, I won't. I'm coming alone."

"Thanks, see you then." Eiri said as he turned around to return to his seat.

"Till then." Kori replied reluctantly as she waved at the blonde.

Eiri went back to his seat to be punished by the lecturer. But all the while, he was looking at Kori, worrying every second that she might go against her promise. Then again, he wondered what Touma told him last night over the phone was going to work or not. Nonetheless, the first challenge was over. Now all he needed to do was to make sure that Kori had this talk with him no matter what.

----------------------------

Sound of track shoes squeaking and basketball bouncing filled the space. Recent whistles could be heard from the couch whistle. The school's female basketball team was intensively practicing for their tournament that's due in a few months time. Their sweat seemed to be flowing like tap water, dripping onto the ground as the players raced across the court with the orange ball with them.

Kori watched the team practice as she waited for Eiri in patience. She wondered what the blonde wanted to talk to her about, most probably, about Touma Seguchi. She regretted to agree for the talk, but still she waited for the blonde's arrival to see what he has to say.

Eiri arrived a few minutes later, shocked as to see that the girl had arrived before him. It got him a little tense. After all a gentleman shouldn't make a girl wait for him. He walked towards the waiting girl and apologized, relieved as he found the girl actually smiled at him. Eiri plucked up a little courage and sat beside the female, not looking at her, he started the conversation.

"I know that you would assumed I'm going to talk about Touma. But unfortunately, I'm not."

Kori stared at disbelief but did not reply as the blonde continued to speak.

"I was wondering about how much you like music and Sakuma kun, and how much you hate me Eiri Uesugi, the freak."

"You're not a freak." Kori yelled at the blonde.

"Maybe," Eiri replied and laid his back against the sit, "But I always wanted to move to somewhere people would accept me for what I am. Have you thought about that Kori kun?"

"Not really, but you really made me think thoroughly about it this once."

"So…Kori kun would you like to go to New York with me?"

"What!" Kori gasped.

"I mean, I'm leaving for New York in the end of the year and I was wondering if you would leave with me." Eiri blushed as he finished the sentence. It sounded more like a love confession than a normal persuasion. He began to look around the court leaving eye contact with the girl. But instead of calming himself down, looking around made his blushing worse than ever. Kori chuckled as she stared at the funny and cute expression. She placed her right hand under Eiri's chin, forcing as much eye contact as possible with the guy. The blonde stared into Kori's soft emerald green eyes, finding it too attractive to resist. She looked a lot like Touma, except for her fair and pale physical appearance that made her looked so different. But above all, she was really beautiful.

"Uesugi kun, I do not really get you. But I'll think about it."

"Thanks."

"I'll give you an answer a month before you leave."

"Yeah sure, I'll wait for your answer."

"Thanks for the answer then," Kori said and stood up to leave, "Jaa…mata aimashou."

**End

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**

Did you people see that! Eiri was in love with Kori chan!

Anyway for your information Eiri wasn't a gay before he met Shuichi, you should know if you've seen or read the manga or anime. Anyway if you people want to know what Touma told Eiri over the phone, he only asked Eiri if he wanted to leave Japan and bringing his sister over too. Eiri of course agreed, so he chose to leave for New York where he can be able to stay there in peace from the disturbances from Japan.

Be prepared for the next chapter, which I think I'm going to update in the weekend if I got the time to type the crap. So…see you people again in Chapter 3: Too much of a relationship.

Ah…one more thing…about 'Gravity' I don't think I'll be updating that any sooner, I've run out of juices in school because of so much stress. Gomenasai.

Reviews please…minna…


	4. Too much of a Relationship

**Chapter 3**

**Too Much of a Relationship**

The weather was beginning to heat up in the spring; summer was near. Touma sat under the maple tree in the schoolyard, sketching a picture of his sister, who was scribbling not far away from where he was. The heat was so unbearable that he allowed his jacket to slip down his shoulders. He never went near his sister unnecessarily, in fear of pissing her off. Pissing Kori off would always be the worst idea of all. She'll come up with all the bad cursing and swearing against him. It really hurts to hear her say those, especially towards him. Even before she severed ties with the family, she was already cold towards the blond and he wished that it would not continue forever.

Asking his best friend to approach Kori was the only best solution in the moment. Although asking Eiri to be the middle person may be a little too much, but it may really help improved the relationship between the three of them. Touma had already contacted Kitazawa that Kori might be going along with Eiri. He sounded really pleased over the phone in the increase of students and readily accepted the favor from Touma.

Touma gripped on his mechanical pencil tightly, intending to finish the drawing before Kori leaves. But lesser than he had expected, a figure appeared behind him and knocked his head, distracting him and making him turn his head back to face the other blond behind him.

"Eiri! What the hell!"

"Hi Touma. Oh, drawing again?"

"Yeah. Is anything of a problem to that?"

"No, no. Not really."

"Like as if. Your expression is rejected whatever you just said to me." Touma frowned at Eiri, hating him for breaking his day. Eiri chucked a little, then into a laugh.

"EIRI UESUGI!" Touma yelled at the laughing blonde and gave him his best murderous eyes, almost killing Eiri with it.

"I'm sorry man. It was just that…that…that I didn't knew that you're a incest."

"Bastard! What do you mean by that!" Touma replied as he turned into a big red tomato.

"According to my very accurate assumptions, all you have done had shown a remarkable result that you like Kori really much."

"Of course I do, she's my sister!"

"No. I mean you 'like' her 'like' her. In terms of the word 'crush'.

"What in the hell Eiri, I do not like her! We're just siblings and nearing enemies relationship now, okay!"

" What ever Touma, but you don't…"

"SHUT UP!" Touma roared and stood up furiously and left the ground, leaving his drawing half-done. Eiri pulled himself up and followed Touma, still laughing at Touma's interesting expression. Even though it was just a pure joke, he could really felt that Touma was really in love with his sister, even if the guy disagreed himself.

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It was a self-studying period, the classroom was full of quiet hardworking students, all working on the given assignments given by a relieve teacher before she left the room for another lesson. Touma, as the class chairman, was keeping the class as organized as possible. He was still fuming at Eiri for ruining his drawing and had not spoken to him since then.

The class was so quiet that Touma's thoughts started to play with him. It raced through his mind, playing a game of tag, as his conscience started its 'puppet play'.

Touma Seguchi is in love with his sister… 

The blond ignored and tried to wash the thoughts away.

Ignoring huh? Just like how you ignored the poor girl when she was going to be killed by YOUR father. Just like how she loves to ignore you now. Coward, you are such a coward. That's what coward like you love to do.

"So what?" Touma replied in frustration of the thoughts, how can he be so stupid?

'So what' you say. Kori could have died you know? Kori can never know how you felt about her. Your concerns will just be lies and your love will only be an extra. She'll just kick you out of her world once and for all. You'll never get a chance to participate in her circles of life.

"Then what do you propose? Tell her that I'm incest and I love her? You must be kidding me!"

_That, you decide for yourself…_the conscience replied in chuckles and vanished without a proper cue. Touma felt really weak just for that moment. How could he be so carelessly stupid? How can he let his conscience take over his mind? Maybe he slipped, but he really felt what the conscience said might be true. Touma Seguchi had fell in love with his sister; biological sister. Eiri was right. He did fell in love with the girl who had the same flowing blood as his, the only girl he wanted to protect so much despite all the factors that stopped the relationship between them. He knew it was forbidden, it was wrong, but what could he do?

"Hell what the fuck am I thinking and talking to myself for!"

He felt a strong urg to cry, but the blonde quickly turned his thoughts away.

"I…what am I gonna do?"

In frustration, Touma clenched his fist and banged in onto the desk before him. His sudden move broke the silence in the room, as the class was startled by the loud bang. The blonde growled in frustration and stormed out of the classroom, leaving for the washroom to calm himself down.

Touma turned on the taps and be splashed all the cold freezing water on his face, drenching his blonde hair in the process. The hair hanged and limped on his face as his dirty green eyes pierce through the curtains of his hair. Touma lifted his fingers to touch his reflection on the mirror, exploring the simplest expression and features on his face. Why was he so beautiful? Why isn't Kori the one to be beautiful? Tears raced down his cheeks uncontrollably, building up his every guilt in life. His knees fell onto the wet tiled floor in weakness. Using his hands to cover his face, Touma broke down and cried his heart out. He did not care if anyone entered the washroom at that moment, neither did he cared if his pants were absorbing the water from the tiles. He just wanted to let go everything clinging on the tail of his life.

The blonde managed to say something between his sobs, not quite audible but easily understood by the on the other blond, who was standing outside the washroom lying his back on a wall. The tears rolled down his eyes from his golden orbs as he cried for his best friend.

"Touma Seguchi…you're such an idiot."

**End**

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**

Maybe I'm really overdoing the story, but I still like it. I don't know why but I used to hate Touma so much while I'm watching Gravitation in the anime, but now I love him so much because of the weird alters here and there to Touma by me. He's so emotional!

I was thinking on a Touma x Eiri chapter at first, and then I thought that it was so boring…so I decided on an incest chapter of the two siblings, Touma x Kori.

And whatever Kori's scribbling on you'll know later in the next chapter, 'Chapter 4: Talents of the Graspers'. See ya later in the next chapter!

Reviews please…anyway happy lunar New Year! Woof, woof!


	5. Talents of the Graspers

**Chapter 4**

**Talents of the Graspers**

Orange light shone into the living room for the balcony, getting darker and darker every second. Listening over her Walkman, which the music booming into her ear drums in top volume, Kori continue scribbling the words down into the notepad before her.

"KORI! YOU'RE GONNA GO DEAF!" the brunette tugged onto the earpiece in attempt to pull the fucking thing out.

Turning her head to face the brunette beside her, Kori gave ryuichi a cold laugh. She would have strangled the teen if he weren't her best friend. Ryuichi switched on the table lamp, shocking Kori in the process because of the glaring light.

"Fuck." Kori said as she rubbed her eyes and stood up, stretching her cramped body.

"Finally…"

"Finally? What the hell have you been doing?" Ryuichi picked up the notepad and read the super cursive handwriting. Reading every word with great tentativeness. His eyes grew really wide, staring at the messy script, he gasped at Kori as if he was a goldfish in a bowl. Kori snorted and looked away from the weird creature before her, rolling her eyes at it. Lyrics. Kori had written two pages of lyrics!

"What kind of instrument can you play?" the brunette asked Kori as he looked into those emerald green eyes, hoping the girl would give her an answer other than a recorder/flute.

"Huh?" She replied and continued, "Other than String and wind instruments, almost everything. Why do you ask that?" Kori looked at the brunette in confusion, wondering why he asked that. So what if she'd written a song? It's not a big deal though. Don't the brunette write them too?

The bubbly Ryuichi seemed completely washed out as he stared at the written lyrics. Oh god, his friend could really write something this kick ass.

"Can you operate a synthesizer?"

"Yeah sure. There's one in the study," Kori led her best friend to the study, still as confused as ever to whatever the brunette was thinking. (N/A: she's so vain.)

As the door creaked open, a tangerine-like aroma flowed out of the study. It was the first time the brunette stepped into the sacred room. A study table with an old laptop on it, a big cabinet with shelves full of music albums and books, a drum set and a synthesizer. The blue crystal eyes explored the room with great curiosity, admiring every speck of the room.

"Please don't drool, it'll get the room more dirtier." Kori growled at Ryuichi and stepped on his foot in frustration. (N/A: such a pissy lady) Ryuichi yelled in pain and then continued to drool at the equipment.

"Wow, I never knew that you played music."

"There are a million things more that you don't know about me."

Kori walked over to the dusty synthesizer and switched it on, then did some adjustment to the music. She placed the lyrics on the synthesizer in a way that it wouldn't affect her playing, running her fingers up the keyboard. "Hope my skills aren't too rusty."

Prepared for the start, she breathes in and held her breath. Only letting go to start the song she'd just written moments ago as Ryuichi still stunned by Kori's skills.

_It wasn't your killing that made me die._

_It wasn't your fault that started the lies._

_I never knew I would be like this,_

_Feeling sorry for this situation._

_Wanting you to force the mask out of me._

_Deceits on my vivid dream_

_Enrapture my every pain._

_The darkness had already engraved in my heart._

_God closed his gates at me_

_As the Devil accept me._

_It wasn't your fault that I was born a sinner_

_Cause' you clinged on me at the edge_

_To keep my heart alive._

_It wasn't your killing that made me die._

_It wasn't your fault that started the lies._

_I never knew I would be like this,_

_Feeling sorry for this situation._

_Wanting you to force the mask out of me._

_You weren't the one who pushed me off._

_You weren't the one who stood me off._

_No one knew I would turn into this,_

_Feeling pity for this situation._

_Wanting you to embrace the tears out of me._

_Deceits on my vivid thoughts_

_Enrapture my every pain._

_The darkness had already engraved in my soul._

_I was all alone now_

_Having nowhere to go._

_It wasn't your fault that I was born a sinner_

_Cause' you held onto me _

_When I was about to drift away._

The brunette stared at disbelieve and admiration, Kori looked so cool when she was playing the synthesizer. Her vocals were so beautiful, a soft rock kind of voice. Comparing to his, they could be rivals. Attracted to the singing, he hummed the tune along with Kori as she continued playing with her delicate fingers.

_When you embraced my ripped soul_

_And bounded my heart to yours,_

_I gave you my last mask_

_Showing the true me before you._

_It wasn't your killing that made me die._

_It wasn't your fault that started the lies._

_You weren't the one who pushed me off._

_You weren't the one who stood me off._

_No one knew I would turn into this,_

_Feeling pity for this situation._

_Wanting you to embrace the tears out of me._

Kori closed her eyes, concentrating on the last verse she was going to belt out. She hopes that the brunette wouldn't find the real meaning of the song: She was suffering. She knew the brunette had already noticed but she still hopes not. Kori took a deep breath and swung her white hair backwards and let go.

_Wanting you to kiss those vivid dreams of mine_

_You can only be the one who embraced my ripped soul._

_Cause' you're the only one who held onto me_

_When I was about to drift away._

The music toned down as the song ended, finishing it off slowly until Ryuichi erupted with cheers and Kori bowed.

"That was damn dude, your music really kicked ass!" The brunette yelled, engulfing his friend into a hug.

"Thanks." Kori said smiling at the brunette bubbly. It's been a long time since anyone praised had her, she felt as if she was in heaven. She took Ryuichi and Kumagoro into an embrace, laying a light kiss on the brunette's cheeks, resulting him to turn into a big red tomato. The brunette blushed as he stared at Kori. God dammit that the girl in front of him was so damn talented and beautiful. It's been a long time since he saw the girl smiled like this she looked so perfect.

After admiring his best friend play, how could he just ignore his skills too? Kori moved aside for the brunette to sit in. Ryuichi reset the synthesizer again and pulled Kumagoro close to him, allowing it to sit beside him.

"Ready, Kuma chan?" The pink bunny nodded at his brunette master. Ryuichi smiled at the bunny and started jamming the opening tune. The music engulfed his spirit, eating away his mind in every beat. Ryuichi shut his eyes in concentration and only opened it as he started singing his song.

_From faraway, let your eyes shine;_

_Those who have awakened are still waiting_

_Seduce the rampants of the night_

_In the cast-off pile of skin left by the things that now leave elsewhere._

_Without an exit_

_If you intend to survive the impact_

_To the point where you fall apart_

_Enrapture the deceits_

_You who have been reborn, colour your eyes without smiling alone._

_Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly_

_Burned into ash_

_In some miracles we could still brush into each other._

_Hold me gently_

_In order to break me_

_Be exposed in a state of purity_

_Like a flower whose petals have fallen._

_You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels_

_Cupped in you hand._

_A cold hand_

_Gathers up the shed thorns, so_

_A blank flame_

_Continues to smolder_

_Let's depict the vivid thoughts_

_Found in that place of light that is unreachable even now._

_Don't fear the passage of time,_

_So that words of guidance won't completely spill out and wash away._

Fingers swiftly moved through the keyboard. Ryuichi looked at the emerald green eyes before him. Kori smiled at the brunette; Ryuichi's song really rocks! She never knew the dusty old synthesizer would be of this great use again, being able to play such wonderful pieces. The brunette looks so sexy as he sang, Kori wondered if there would be another chance to see the brunette sing after this day. The brunette smiled back at the girl, knowing that she would know how the rest of the song goes.

There's no where out 

_I'm falling further down_

Taking a little wince, Kori belted out the last few verse with Ryuichi.

_To the recarnation of you I say, colour your eyes without smiling alone._

_Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly_

_Burned to ash,_

_The miracles could still happen to come again._

_Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts_

_Found in the place of light that is unreachable even now_

_Don't fear the passage of time,_

_So that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away._

_Hold me gently_

_Always catch me_

_More and more_

_In order to break my heart_

There was a moment of quietness after the song ended. Each other's musical talents and vocals stunned the friends. The blue crystal eyes met the emerald green ones, but the both of them could not speak.

In order to break the silence, Ryuichi took a deep breath. He knew he had to say something or the both of them will stay numb for the next few hours before he leaves.

"What is the name of your song?" Ryuichi started.

" 'Enraptured pain', yours?" Kori replied, breaking eye contact with the blue eyes.

" 'Sleepless beauty'."

"Sweet."

_Darn, why is the atmosphere so tense?_ Ryuichi hugged onto his pink bunny till its eyes were about to pop out, blushing as his eyes met Kori's.

Kori calmed down in a few seconds later and smiled at the brunette, resulting Ryuichi to blush more. Switching off the synthesizer, Kori threw her lyrics of 'Enraptured pain' towards Ryuichi. Laughing as the Brunette stared in confusion.

"RYUICHI! YOU ROCK!"

**End

* * *

**

Ryuichi is definitely not on love with Kori! He's just really happy okay!

Anyway, this whole chapter is about singing. I know it's quite boring but, hey, this is a part of Gravi isn't it? I allowed 'Enraptured pain' and 'Sleepless beauty' (K.ITO + D.K) in the story. If you people had seen the animated series of gravitation, you people should know that Ryuichi sang that song as Nittle Graspers with Noriko and Touma with the synthesizer.

Anyway have fun reading the chapter…I'll be updating 'Chapter 5: Lover's Stash' real soon, okay? (Hope that I can type faster…-) See ya…

Reviews…I need more Reviews to improve my writing!

AhHHhhhhhHhhhh…………………


	6. Lover's Stash

**Chapter 5**

**Lover's Stash**

The weather was getting warmer and warmer in June, Kori felt as if she was going to die of heat stroke. Her pale skin felt as if it was burning as the sunlight shone on her. Maybe coming to the beach was a bad idea, and she's regretting it now. Although she was wearing a yellow tee shirt over that purple swimsuit of hers, the sunlight seemed to penetrate into her skin. She cursed at the weather as Eiri came back with the drinks.

Not long after their first talk at school, they became friends.

Eiri passed Kori her favorite vanilla Coke, pulling a towel over her head in the same time. The girl growled, making the blonde stare at her. Her skin was turning red from the exposure, probably some sunburn since she didn't want to apply the lotion on her skin. The tee shirt she was wearing was long-sleeved and for a pretty good reason too. From what he had noticed from the bare legs, which were so ripped in scars that are long and ripped, he had a feeling that it was going to be worse under that tee shirt of hers.

Noticing the weird expression of the blonde's face, Kori growled in irritation. That guy beside her was pissing her off with those stares from him.

"Damn Eiri, what do you want!" Kori growled in frustration as the heat was getting more into her.

"I'm really sorry but I couldn't help but stare at them." Eiri replied still looking at the scars that surfaced the pale, beautiful and delicate skin.

Kori frowned at the words. She too could not help it but touched the scars that were once wounds from the tortures she had got from her father and herself. It wasn't easy for her to finally quit self-abusing. Being locked up for six months in the mental hospital and facing the shrink everyday finally forced her to quit. The girl never wanted those tortures again ever since she was discharged.

Eiri looked at her eyes in concern, but did not say anything. He lifted the girl up, helping her to stand on her own after making sure she wouldn't faint from the heat. "Come' on let's move to somewhere cooler." He then packed up all their belongings and left for the resort.

------------------------------------

The trip to the resort was a quiet one. Eiri hadn't said anything in the car, making the situation onside really tense that it frightened the girl. The Porsche stopped upon reaching its destination. The blonde led Kori into the resort, showing her around the beautiful bungalow. The place looked so classical, she could not believe that this belonged to the Japanese traditionalists of the Uesugi family. It was such a pity that Ryuichi couldn't come, he would really love the place.

After settling down everything they needed to use for the weekend, dusk arrived at their doorstep. The both of them settled down for a dinner of roast beef. Then, settled down for television after the delicious meal.

Kori wore a beautiful 'forget-me-not' dress. It was again long-sleeved and the dress went all the way down covering her knees. The blonde stared at the girl beneath all the scars; she looked so beautiful and innocent. The girl sat beside the blonde on the couch, pulling up her sleeves as Eiri applied the medication onto her sunburned skin.

"You should have told me that you couldn't stand the fucking sun." Eiri chuckled as Kori frowned at the reddish patch of skin. Eiri rubbed the medication gently, ignoring the scars as hard as he could although it was impossible. There was almost everything on her arms: burn marks, cuts, teeth marks and many slashes of scars that seemed to be made by belt slashing. He never knew she'd gone through so much; Touma seemed to have left out a lot of details.

Kori pulled her arm away once she felt the blonde running his fingers gently on the scars. She held her arms close to her chest and shivered a little, not wanting the blonde to know how weak and stupid she was, as the prove screaming out from her scars.

"Are you okay?" Eiri asked in concern, gently stroking her hair. Blushing as he realized Kori's was looking at him in the eyes. Man, she was just too adorable.

Before she knew what was happening, Kori found her lips taken up into a passionate kiss by a pair of luscious lips. The blonde looked at her into the eyes, passing a pledge of love and concern. Eiri's tongue placed at her bottom lip forcing an entrance into her mouth. Kori opened her cavern and allowed the tongue in as it played a game of catch with hers.

Eiri pinned Kori onto the soft couch underneath them, their lips refusing to separate as they continued to suck at each other's saliva with bruising force. It took a long time for the couple to realize what was actually going on between them.

Kori pushed the blonde away in fear. She knew how he and her felt but she just couldn't bring herself to it.

"I'm sorry Eiri. But, please. Please don't touch me."

Eiri was stuck. Didn't even bothered to return the girl with a 'why'. He just couldn't bring himself to. With that thought, he slowly stood up and moved away from the girl, letting her lie there on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"I'm going to bed, I'll be getting a blanket for you, okay?" He said and left.

Kori sighed in a sort of relieve and turned her body to face in the sofa. Why didn't she want to do it? She couldn't answer. She knew and felt for Eiri, she really loved him from the inside. But why can't she do it?

Eiri must be angry with her now, that's what she assumes. She felt like crying. What if Eiri began to hate her already?

She couldn't think anymore and shut her eyes tight and went to sleep.

Eiri gazed at her from a distant. There was something about that girl that made him really guilty about himself. Touma, did he somehow betrayed him? There was no end to it.

The blonde moved forward to the girl finding her to be sound asleep. Although she was sleeping, there was a slight frown on her face showing that she was quite troubled herself. This made Eiri very guilty, how can he hurt her like that?

Eiri gently set the blanket down on her, slowly wrapping her comfortably into it. Then, with his strong arms, he carried the girl in his arm and brought her to the only bedroom in the house, and laid her on the bed.

Sighing, he left the girl in the room, bringing with him a coat as a blanket.

"Oh shit Touma, what in the hell had happened to her? How in the heck did she become like this?"

--------------------------------------

Kori woke up only to see the red plasma before her on the floor, wordless. Why was she in the washroom anyway? When did she blank out? She couldn't remember anything.

What can she see? She was lying there on the bloody floor with her dress all stained red. The pure, white washroom was vandalized with spills of the red blood all over the floor with trails of hand prints dragged all over the tiles. A silver knife by her side; all bloody and stuff, And a scary looking wound that dragged from her shoulder down to her wrists at her left arm. The cut was not deep but it was bleeding profusingly.

It was compulsive and she felt like puking. Of all the things she hated was blood. She couldn't stand it. Memories kept coming back with it; fear, anger and stupidity.

Kori backed away from the pool of blood, gripping on her own neck in disgust. She did not scream in fear of waking the sleeping guy outside the room. Eiri must not find out this part of her.

She quickly washed up the mess on the floor and cleaned her wound over the sink, looking at the plasma as it flowed into the sink. Wrapping the wound with tissue, as she couldn't find any bandages. She left the washroom and put on some clean clothes before returning to wake the blonde.

She shook the sleeping blonde on the couch and he stirred, not wanting to face the reality from his dreams. He looked so innocent and beautiful, unlike her. With another round of shaking the blonde, Eiri turned a little and woke up.

"Good morning, Kori."

"Good morning." Kori replied reluctantly as the blonde placed his hands onto the wound unknown to him. (N/A: Kori was again wearing long-sleeved clothes.) Kori winced a little at the pain, but made sure the blonde didn't notice the wounds. She laid her head on the blonds shoulder and hicked a sob.

"Why are you crying silly?" Eiri said as he stroked on the girl's head. He was sort of worried that what he did the day before might harm the relationship with the girl. But he didn't want to ask in fear that he might hurt her again.

Suddenly, red patches started to appear on the sleeves. Eiri stood up suddenly and went to get the first aid box, coming back and pulled the sleeves up roughly only to see red tissue paper wrapped over her arm, reeking some metallic smell that started to revolve around the room. Kori struggles and wanted to pull away her hand, giving up only to find that Eiri had a grip too tight for her to break. Kori broke into tears once more as Eiri removed the cover and applied the medication. Not because of pain, but the guilt that was in her.

"Why don't you ask?" Kori blurted out suddenly as Eiri was doing his job of tending the wounds. "Why don't you wanna ask me, Eiri Uesugi?"

Tears flowed down the blonde as he looked at the wound. "I knew," he replied the girl with an undertone which seemed to anger the girl more, "I'm sorry."

A slap went across Eiri's face as the girl cried out loudly. "Bastard!" Kori screamed as she fell back into the warm embrace of Eiri Uesugi, crying her heart out until she fell soundly asleep.

Eiri kissed the sleeping girl once more and whispered into her eyes, "You'll tell us when you want to. Sleep tight Kori, I love you."

**End

* * *

**

Edited the chapter and found out about the mistake I made in this story: lemons. It's going too fast and it is too appalling. So, I cut the lemons and replaced everything with a simple content, 'love'. You should find this quite a softer story after the edition of this chapter. Thank you for appreciating.

Love'

Yuki

May 07, 2006

So again once more see you guys in the next chapter, 'Chapter 6: The Destined Friendship'…cya. There'll be no edit in the next one.

Reviews please……Onegaishimasu…watashi mo ganbarimasu…


	7. The Destined Friendship

**Chapter 6**

**The Destined Friendship**

Dashing down the busy traffic and turning own the alley at top speed in the summer morning; Ryuichi was late for school again. Drenching with sweat, his hair was sticking onto his face when he reached the closing school gate.

"Please, Suzumiya! Just let me in for this once." Ryuichi pleaded the schoolmate who's closing the gate. Suzumiya looked at the brunette in disgust, then wrote something in this little notepad, tore out the page and gave it to Ryuichi. "Sorry Sakuma, but you have to be suspended for lessons. The sun's rays were burning his hair; Ryuichi wished the summer vacation to come soon so that he can stay all day long in air condition or preferably at Kori's place playing today in detention room. That's the school rule."

"Damn!" Ryuichi said as Suzumiya allowed him to enter the school ground music with his best friend.

The brunette reported himself at the detention room. He greeted the teacher-in-charge and settled down on an empty desk in the room. He took out the pink bunny from his bag and stared at it. "Kuma chan, we're going to miss lots of fun today. Nanoda." He placed the bunny on the desk and gazed blindly into its eyes, which seemed to understand how its master felt. Ryuichi rested his head on the desk and sighed, "You know what, Kuma chan? Kori was my bested best friend."

-------------------------------------------

The glaring rays of the sun shown through the leaves of the tree, forming dots all over an elementary student that was lying under it. His hair was brunette and his eyes were crystal blue, so blue that it seemed dead to the world.

The young brunette stared at his wound on his wrists he created earlier on. It was still fresh and bleeding, making him sigh at it in dismay. This was the second attempt of suicide this year and it somehow the wound seemed more fatal than the last one. Hopefully he would finally die this time round. Ryuichi was thrown out of the house by his stepfather with no money and no necessary first aid.

His body was covered with the red crimson blood but nobody seemed to be willing to help him. To them, the boy looked absolutely disgusting and cast out that even kids ran away from him. Ryuichi laughed at the ignorant crowd and laid head on the trunk of the tree. The tree seemed so beautiful to him that it would be the best choice of his place of death. The more he thought about it, the more he could feel his conscious leaving him. The loss of blood is pulling him away, making him think that he was finally able to die, not noticing someone approaching him.

When he finally woke up, he saw someone hovering over his body.

"Are you an Angel?" He asked the shadow over him. "Are you here to take me away?"

"No." a voice replied, "I'm not an angel and no one's going to take you away."

Ryuichi opened his eyes slightly more and looked at the shadow above him. The shadow or whatever it is had a pale creamy face with beautiful green emerald eyes, long bleached blonde (or was is white) hair? "Are you sure you're not an angel? You looked so beautiful."

"Positive." The gentle voice answered to his dismay, cruelly breaking his heart.

The owner of the voice helped Ryuichi up to lie by the trunk of the tree into a sitting position, making sure not to touch the wound that had stopped bleeding. Her fingers slowly brushed the wet fringes that covered his eyes and knelt before him. Placing something soft into Ryuichi's lap, she continues bandaging the brunette's wounds with great care.

"Sakuma, you should have died long ago if God hate you that much." The voice snapped and Ryuichi's heart skipped a beat. He shot up and looked at the girl before him. The girl had been with him for the past an hour and he didn't even notice? The girl did nothing but smiled at the shocked brunette politely.

"When did the hell did you get here?" Ryuichi yelled at the confused girl.

"About an hour ago. You seemed like you needed some help." The girl replied and approached him.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Ryuichi yelled as he pulled his arm away from the girl.

Instead of backing away from the lunatic, the girl moved closer to the brunette and stroked his hair. Ryuichi stoned at her confusingly though he hated the fact that she was trying to calm him down. The girl seemed a lot younger than him, more of a grade school student and yet her maturity masked her chibi sized look and her innocent smile.

"Want something to eat?" she asked and Ryuichi's stomach let out a sudden growl, making a positive respond to her words. The girl giggled and Ryuichi blushed in embarrassment. Then, reaching her hands into her little bunny backpack, she took out a box of chocolate biscuits and lay down next to the brunette, offering the food to him.

"My name is Kori Seguchi and this is Kumagoro." The girl said and took the bunny from the brunette's lap back into her arms.

"Thanks." He replied reluctantly and accepted the biscuits, "You know my name already, and so I won't repeat."

"Okay." She replied and made the bunny nod.

There was a moment of quietness then the girl spoke again. This time straight to the point.

"Why do you want yourself dead, Mr. Suicidal Masochist?"

Ryuichi kept quiet and allowed himself to form a perfect answer that would satisfy the 'child' before him. It was difficult to answer anyway if he had one. He was not that cruel to stain her pure innocent mind with bloodshed and suicide. In the end he decided to ignore Kori and bit hungrily into the biscuits.

Kori looked at the brunette with a slight frown, hating Ryuichi's attitude. She grabbed Ryuichi's hand and placed in on her arm. Slowly, she used it to pull up her long loose sleeve, revealing many terrifying bruises, wounds and burn marks that were on the arm. Ryuichi stared in disbelief, finding the girl being not so pure after all. Some of the wounds were tortures while some are clearly self-inflicted. The brunette quickly pulled down the sleeves but was stopped halfway.

"Can you tell me now, Sakuma?"

The sense of lost, he felt after seeing the injuries and scars broke him.

"No Seguchi…I lust for pain. The pain that'll return my freedom that was stolen by others." The brunette stopped and then asked an irrelevant question. "How old are you, Seguchi?"

"I never knew you were this dense."

"Huh?"

"You've seen me before, Sakuma. I was in the class next to yours."

"13? Seriously?" he gasped and stared into her face. "It can't be, you mean you're Touma Seguchi's sister?"

The girl nodded smiled. "Here take Kuma-chan with you. Happy Birthday!"

She passed the bunny to the shocked brunette, bounced up and left. Ryuichi himself had forgotten his birthday and yet a stranger knew.

"Maybe having a birthday on April Fool's day wasn't that bad after all."

---------------------------------------

Ryuichi was gone to the washroom for an hour already. Too long, too long for Kori to stop being worried about him. Ryuichi's parents just died and in just days after the funeral, the brunette had some seriously cutting done already. Kori's heart was pumping hard, something is amiss. She stood up immediately from the yard and ran into the school building to look for the brunette.

"RYU!" She yelled, "Where are you? Stop scaring me."

Tears ran down her face but she didn't stop. She had to find the brunette, had to find him before she regret everything in life. She ran as fast as she could till she reached the doorstep of the gents. The door was locked (when it shouldn't be since it's still school hours during the day).

"Ryu, open up the fucking door!" she cried and turned the knob violently, trying as hard as she could to open the door. "Sakuma Ryuichi, I'm warning you. Open up the fucking door!"

Then, a metallic smell drifted out of the gents and tickled her nostril, making her panic even more. It was the same smell that fused out of her body when the red plasma flowed out of her body, the smell of human blood.

"Ryuichi, open up. Onegai. You're scaring me."

With one last turn, the knob broke, including the lock in it (luckily). Kori bugged into the room and as she had expected, Ryuichi was covered with blood.

"RYU!" she screamed as soon as she caught sight of the brunette lying in a pool of blood that spilled all over his body and a bloody razor blade lying close to him.

"What do you think you're doing, you moron. How can you leave me like this?"

Ryuichi opened his eyes a little to focus, "Gomenasai, Kori chan. I really couldn't help it…" He replied and coughed choking onto the blood.

"What do you mean by that? I'll kill myself if you die!"

"Ko...ori…"

Before Ryuichi had the time to react (he can't react really much to this anyway), Kori quickly picked up his blood-covered razor and pressed it against her neck, threatening the thumping pulses to freeze. Kori felt herself losing more and more, with one last hesitation, she pressed the razor down and sliced into the flesh of her neck.

"Kori…please stop…"

But the girl couldn't hear him. Her soul was lost, lost in the pleasure of pain.

His vision was blurring out and the light caught his eyes. The last thing he really saw was reddish spilling all over his body, some covering his face. Then, a crying body crashed onto his bloody one.

"KORI!" he could hear voices busting in, covering the silence of the washroom. "Kori! Wake up!"

The brunette could feel the girl's body being pulled away. The weight was lifted but he was still worried; about his end and Kori, his best friend.

"Ko…ri…I'm really…sorry…"

------------------------------

"Ryu, Ryuichi Sakuma! Wake up!" Kori yelled at the sleeping brunette who was drenched in sweat.

"Huh? Kori chan? What are you doing here?" Ryuichi asked as he snapped himself back into reality. "What time is it now?"

"School's over Sakuma, want to go back to rock some music? I'll prepare an extra futon if you want to."

"I'll love to!" Ryuichi replied and packed his bag in top speed, hugging onto the toy bunny the whole time. Kori was confused by his behavior, but nonetheless, the both of them left the room hand in hand as they continued to be friends forever.

**End

* * *

**

This is my personal favorite chapter!

Okay back to something serious…. I'm having some difficulty in letting the story flow. So after this pathetic chapter, I don't think I'll be uploading very soon. I'll start to upload again once I find the solution to this problem. I'm very sorry. Gomenasai minna san (bow).

If anyone of you have something to say or any suggestions to my problem please review…


	8. Miyashi Hashiba

**Chapter 7**

**Miyashi Hashiba**

The skies were covered with dark hazy clouds, indicating the arrival of a storm. People were running into shelter, and this one particular man was standing alone below the apartment. There was an ID, which indicated his identity, hanging on his neck. 'Dr. Miyashi Hashiba. Date of Birth: 14 September 1971. ID number: 789311z' that was that was written on it with his picture.

He looked around the place and waited. It was still 3.30 in the afternoon, he was too early and the one he was meeting was nowhere to be seen. The man sighed and ruffled his copper-coloured hair.

"Where is that girl?"

From where he was, he leaned his tall body on the wall. His dark leather cloak lay restlessly on his skin and the dress shirt inside was crumpled. He looks more like a Private Eye than an ordinary person; there was no doubt about it.

Hours began to past, the girl still hadn't appear and he was getting bored. Taking out his cigarette, he lit it and had a puff on it.

"Miyashi?" the little voice creep up behind him. "What are you doing here?"

Miyashi turned around and found his goal, finally relieve that he was not going to wait for another hour.

"Hi Kori, just here to see you. Are you going to invite me into your house?"

The girl nodded and squealed in delight.

"I'm happy that you're here Miyashi. I've lots of things to tell you. And before that, did you have fun while you were in Paris?"

--------------------------------------------------------

In the room, Kori held out her arms before him. Miyashi doesn't seemed to mind, but he was definitely disappointed with the girl. It had been three years since Kori was his patient but her condition still hadn't improved much.

"It's happening all over again, isn't it? I have to start all over again."

"Yeah." She replied in a soft whisper in fear of the seriousness of his tone.

Miyashi can't help it but turned his grey orbs away from the girl. It wasn't purely her fault that her body does things on its own and it isn't weird that she had no conscious of that. It's just that he didn't have any patient that had got condition similar to her case; it's just to tiring to know more.

"Miyashi chan is still going to help me right?" Kori grabbed his coat with a pair of puppy eyes that seemed to be lost in her virtue.

Miyashi hesitated. What is he can't create the miracles before? What is he disappoint the girl's high hopes of recovering?

"Miyashi…"

"Yes Kori," he replied finally. "I'm still going to help you recover. You can trust me for it."

"Thank you."

-------------------------------------------------------

"Tell me Touma, What happened?" Miyashi yelled over the phone, "What happened to her?"

His heart was tied into a knot; Kori's attack was not what he'd been expecting. He never expected Kori to turn back into that Masochist. His plan, remedy was perfect and there's no way he could fail.

There was no answer from Touma and the line ended.

"Fuck."

----------------------------------------------------------

Miyashi sat at the dinner table and gazed at the girl with his head resting on the table. Kori had invited him, Ryuichi and Eiri for dinner at her apartment. It was an advantage to him as he could dig up as much information from the two friends about her, giving a chance for him to understand the situation.

"It's been a long time since we last met, Miyashi sensei. How have you been doing?" Ryuichi started and smiled at the man.

Ryuichi was Miyashi's patient too. Like Yuki, they were both having some self-harm problem and were attended by him. In fact, they were sent to him together by Kori's brother, Touma Seguchi.

"I've been living in such a boring life without you guys, I missed the both of you so much, you and Kori."

"I'm so glad you did, Miyashi sensei." Ryu replied.

Eiri looked at the man and turned away. He knew that person, he knew but hated him, he was not a friend of his but an enemy. He was one of them.

"And this is…"

"Eiri, Eiri Uesugi. He was one of my classmate." Kori replied almost immediately as she brought the food in on the tray. The blonde stood up to offer some help, but was then rejected and sent back into his seat. It was assured that Eiri would not interrupt her serving and she is really determined to do it herself.

"Itadakimasu!"

The crowd sat down to tuck into the food.

"This is very delicious Kori, it's like heaven."

"Thank you, Miyashi."

Kori set her fork onto the piece of beef before her and fed herself. Then, bringing more and more into her mouth. Something's not right with her and Miyashi could sense it. He was intensively focusing on the girl, figuring out what she's doing.

"Stop." Eiri interrupted all of a sudden and gripped onto Kori's arm. "Stop it Kori, wake up."

Kori turned away from him and stared at the beef. There was nothing wrong with it but Kori seemed to focus all her energy on it, as if she was trying to kill someone.

"I'm done." She threw the fork onto the floor and left the table.

"Kori?" Miyashi asked but Kori just went away to her study and slammed the door.

The guys couldn't stand it anymore. Not only that Kori's behavior was killing their appetite, they were damn worried about her

Miyashi stood up and left the table. He walked to the room and stood outside without an attempt to break into the room.

"You wanna talk about this?" Miyashi asked.

Kori didn't answer, but yet, he still didn't go in.

" I'll stay out here, okay?"

He still didn't panic. He just stood there and waited. There was a soft sound coming from the inside. It was music, more specifically; someone was playing on the piano. (N/A: he didn't know Kori had a synthesizer.) The same tune was repeating over and over again with the lyrics:

_It was gone,_

_All gone._

_I'm missing every part of me more._

_It was still my tears that led me_

_Back into the little space on my own that I've threatened to kill._

_Oh God,_

_I'm dying and you tell me you don't care._

_What in the hell is the world coming to?_

_Why do you need to know more?_

_I don't know about it myself_

_And so do you._

_You know what?_

_I don't care._

_As long as I'm erased,_

_I don't care._

_All I need is me._

_Say, let's see if you do._

Miyashi stood by the door and listen. He knew the girl had lost it and probably cutting right at this moment, but he just stood there and listen.

"Oh move aside, Hashiba!" The blonde appeared behind him and pushed him aside, barging into the room to see what happened to the girl.

Kori was playing, a pool of blood dripping from the synthesizer, from the keyboard to the floor. There were cuts of her hands and she didn't seemed to find. Eiri went to her side and pulled her away from the keyboard, landing the both of them on the floor due to the force. The girl passed out and the blonde cried. Ryuichi stood by the door in silence, dropped onto his knees.

Miyashi entered the room, setting his eyes onto the page of the notebook on the keyboard controls. The writings were scribbled and messy, but at least it was eligible. What were written on it were lyrics, but he stared and read only this particular one:

**The Game of Lost**

By: Kori I was there in the moonlight 

_Ignored and find myself lost again._

_Why do I keep doing this?_

_Losing myself in the past _

_And took the chance to escape the future._

_I'm useless and should be long gone._

_I hate it when I'm me._

_I hate it when you say you love me._

_Why do I think so?_

_I don't know about it myself._

_All I knew was this is hell._

_Tell me that this is a lie,_

_Tell me that this isn't reality._

_You can face it but not me,_

_Oh well, what is the problem anyway?_

_For I'm not real at all._

_It was gone,_

_All gone._

_I'm missing every part of me more._

_It was still my tears that led me_

_Back into the little space on my own that I've threatened to kill._

_Oh God,_

_I'm dying and you tell me you don't care._

_What in the hell is the world coming to?_

_Why do you need to know more?_

_I don't know about it myself_

_And so do you._

_You know what?_

_I don't care._

_As long as I'm erased,_

_I don't care._

_Cause' I don't get the place to._

_All I need is me._

_Say, let's see if you do._

_I know you can't agree to it,_

_So why be it?_

_Why do you care?_

_You told me,_

_You liked me to be me._

_Are you sure, but this was me._

_Tell me that you're out._

_Out of my game forever._

_I'm in distress,_

_I'm still digging my way out from the never-ending darkness_

_The world is falling on me_

_I'm not there to be sure._

_So are you going to hate me?_

_Are you gonna hurt me_

_Oh darn,_

_I can't get a grip on myself._

_I felt more like dying in this living hell._

_It's polluted by pain._

_Pain that just makes my life more difficult._

_This show is going to end._

_I'm wreaking it._

_Hate me if you do,_

_Hurt me if you will._

_Oh Jesus, I'm coming to an end._

I was there in the moonlight 

_Ignored and find myself lost again._

_Why do I keep doing this?_

_Losing myself in the past _

_And took the chance to escape the future._

_I'm useless and should be long gone._

_I hate it when I'm me._

_I hate it when you say you love me._

_Why do I think so?_

_I don't know about it myself._

_All I knew was this is hell._

"Kori…"

**End

* * *

**

Okay, this is the end…done some editing to the other chapters as well. I hope it'll be better this time. This time the story shall go slower to slowly feed into your minds. Thanks for reading!

PleAse ReviEw………


	9. Unforgettable

Chapter 8 

**Unforgettable**

"Seguchi, we really need a talk."

"What do you want now, Hashiba. Weren't you the one who said I'm the culprit for her condition? Why are you asking me for help? "

"Do you think I'm that willing to talk to you? I have no choice. You're the only alliance and her family member now. Who else can I contact?"

The sun was glowing dimmer and dimmer, night is approaching fast succumbing the sky with the darkness and spread over the city. They're in this particular café, the two spoke with extreme seriousness that killed the last bit of light in them. Kori, the problem still lies, what are they going to do to her, what to do with her, how to tell her. It was a never-ending dilemma.

Touma took a sip on the latte and looked at the man. His eyes weren't looking at him but onto a piece of paper, which seemed to be a page torn out from a notepad. What was written on it was unknown to him, but it seems to be from a very important source of some sort.

"Why me?"

Miyashi flickered at the voice and took his eyes away from the scribbles. He allowed his fingers to mingle with the glass of sherry, trying to figure what else to say to him. It was difficult somehow. He was an outsider to their problems after all.

"How did you feel when Kori killed them? Did you blame her?"

It was not a very good start; Touma had already diverted his attention away from the man's question. Touma's a very stubborn teen for his age; it was too difficult to make him speak.

"I hated her."

The answer tapped onto Miyashi's mind. Maybe it was because he was an outsider that he felt unwelcome, but Touma wasn't trying to hide anything at all.

"That night, I saw her with that knife in her hands, her body smeared with blood. Dad and Mom on the bloody bed, struggling. Kori's clothes were ripped and there were scratches on her bare neck with flowing blood. There she stabbed into their chests, again and again without stopping. She was crying."

Miyashi took a sip onto the wine trying to get the picture out. He felt ill all of a sudden and there was an urge of puking.

"Kori…she…"

"I was there before her and fell to the ground. Like how you're feeling now, I nearly screamed. I was petrified. She's insane, an insane murderer. Can you imagine? A thirteen-year-old girl smeared with blood, sitting on two bloody corpses? Do you know what the hell I'm feeling?"

Touma began to break down into tears. The topic was too much for him; it was terrifying to have the images go through his mind again. It was more than just a nightmare.

"Then, I hated her a lot. She was sent to the asylum and I went through a series of therapies, but it just wasn't enough. I really hated her and I intend for her existence to be crossed out. To me, she was like an enemy.

But then, on that day I went to see her, decided to kill. She was just there by the window when I saw her, staring out into the nothingness before her. There were no expressions on her face but tears were always flowing down her cheeks. She was thinner than before and she looked so vulnerable. The nurses there told me that she doesn't seem to bother about life anymore; she doesn't eat nor drink. Either which, she just didn't want to move. The nurses fed her with only liquids since she doesn't chew and they took care of her every daily activity. And there was one thing I'm very concerned about, she's very suicidal. She'll kill herself if she's not watched."

Touma sighed and pushed the cup away.

"I felt sorry for her."

"Sorry for her?"

Touma nodded slightly and wiped away the tears.

"She was helpless. I went to visit her in the room, she was singing. I couldn't communicate with her since she's locked in her own world and not listening. She replied occasionally but it always had nothing to do with what I'm talking about. It was just too pathetic.

But when this particular boy about her age enters her room to visit her, she'll always be welcoming him with a beautiful bright smile. It was nothing like I've ever seen before when she was back then, it was too pure and innocent. I can't believe that someone having a smile like this could be someone who ruthlessly killed Dad and Mom. It was too unbelievable."

Miyashi ruffled with his copper-coloured hair and finished his sherry. With a thought, he gave the answer.

"Ryuichi Sakuma."

Touma did not reply. He knew that was an obvious answer as Ryuichi was Kori's best friend. He was always the one who brought her laughter and smiles.

"He's a miracle." Miyashi turned his head and gazed out into the streets. "When I first met him, he was still a brat tied to the ward's bed."

Touma took another sip of the latte and frowned, "He was Kori's suicide partner."

"Yeah, you can say that. But to me, they're like a pair of shoes, never to be separated.

When I first saw Ryuichi, he was tied to the ward's bed and everything that poses danger are taken away from him. He was there sobbing with his long fringes covering his face, all he was saying was 'Kori, Kori, Kori'. It was sad. I think he really regretted abusing her feelings."

Touma stood up and foot the bills, he can't stand it anymore. The guy's asking too much.

"So, you'll agree?" Miyashi yelled, hoping for the last answer.

Nonetheless, the blonde left the café.

The sky was dark. He had chat with the guy for about nearly two hours but he didn't realize it. The cold autumn breeze ruled the city, the beautiful night sky full of twinkling lights. Below it, stood a brunette that was way too familiar before him. His beautiful features stood out from the crowd and his eyes attracted him seriously.

"Sakuma Ryuichi? Aren't you in the hospital with Kori?"

Ryuichi smiled but didn't reply to the question.

"I'm going to see Hashiba, I have a favor of him."

"Oh. Is Kori alright now?"

"Yes, but she seemed to be a little moody, so I left her there. You know, she'll kill me if I upset or interrupt in the affairs." Ryuichi waved at Miyashi, who had noticed him through the glass panels. "So, I'll have to do it behind her back. Do you agree, Seguchi?"

Ryuichi ran into the café as the chills were getting into him, leaving Touma all alone again.

Touma felt like crying, why does everyone hate him so much? It just doesn't make sense. They should hate the murderer. Why him?

But thinking back then, Kori WAS suffering with his parents. She even wanted herself to be dead again and again, but was always brought back.

"Oh God, why do you have to toy with me like that?"

**End

* * *

**

Yeah it's finally done. I love the product! -

I have nothing else to say, but please forgive me if you think this chapter to too boring. Cause' to me, it's so touching…

Please review…………..!


	10. Kori's dream

**Chapter 9**

**Kori's Dream**

"Where am I?"

Kori sat up on the bed and looked around the environment around her. She's in the hospital again.

The night had succumbed the ward but light was entering slightly, as dawn was slowly approaching. There was nothing around her except for the things that should be in the ward. A blonde was sleeping soundly the next to her holding onto her hands with a strong grip that seemed to lock her with him. There were bandages on both her arms; those are enough to tell her what happened to her. She lost control again.

"Eiri are you asleep?" she touched and asked the blonde.

Eiri did not move but snuggled more into the blanket.

The girl smiled slightly and slowly pulls away her hands from the grip, pulling her blanket to cover him.

"Sleep tight, you must be really tired."

With a last push, she got down from the bed and left the ward. The corridors were still lit at night, and there were nurses and doctors entering the hospital for their day. Kori took a stroll around the hospital, exploring the place with her own pace. She went around the wards and to the counter, only finding herself to be caught by one of the nurses on duty.

"You're not supposed to move around on free will, Seguchi san."

Kori scorned at her, hating the way she called her and ignored her.

The nurse then tried to grab onto her, Kori had no choice but to budge. She followed the lady back into the ward and lied back into the bed as she was told. Then, to prevent Kori from running off again, the nurse gave her a dose of sleeping pills and makes sure that Kori eats it and get back to sleep, which of course happened.

-------------------------------------

(Kori's POV)

I sat by the window and gazed out into the open hopelessly. I couldn't help but feel pathetic; I really pitied myself for being such a useless being.

The sky was blue and the drizzle earlier on had washed the clouds away. The greenery made me feel disgusted; it's so naïve that I had the deepest urge to puke. It's a pain to my eyes.

I've decided to ignore the shit before me and stare into the space, wondering around in circles.

_Why am I here?_

This was the only thought running in my mind.

Of course I've thought of jumping out the window, but there were bars and I'm locked in with nothing at all. I've tied hanging myself with my clothes, but there were cameras in the room and the nurses came in and took me down. I could do nothing at all.

There I lie in my vivid thoughts of more deaths, trying to figure a new way to die in peace. I looked around into the fields outside and wondered about my existence in life when I noticed a blonde in the woods.

He was walking around, looking at me all the time. I didn't have much reaction, just blindly turned away. I couldn't really see his face, but he came every day for the last two weeks. Why was he there anyway?

I moved away from the window and lied down back into the bed, staring at the ceiling when Miyashi came in.

"How are you today, Kori?" he asked with his usual smile, placing his hand over my head, stroking it gently.

I looked at him and turned my attention to the unclosed door. He found my intention and immediately shut the door.

"No, Kori."

I frowned a little and looked away. Miyashi sighed and took out his stuffs, placing a box of magic markers and a sketchbook on the bed. I took the stuffs and began to doodle onto the sketchbook with him by the side looking at it.

I took out a green marker, without a thought I wrote: _Ryuichi._

He read it aloud and sighed, knowing that I missed that boy. But no matter what, Ryuichi was prohibited to have visitors and he was not allowed to leave the room, stating the fact he was tied down onto the bed in his ward. Nonetheless, he told me nothing about Ryuichi since the day we we're hospitalized.

I put down the marker and moved to the window again, gazing out again. I looked down at the field, finding that the blonde was already gone. Disappointed, I sighed and laid my head onto the bars.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, there was a knock on the door.

"It seems like you have a visitor, Kori." Miyashi said and opened the door. "Oh hi, Seguchi. Nice seeing you."

I turned around and looked at the boy who came in. he was that blonde from the outside. His name was Seguchi?

"Kori." He whispered, his voice echoing in my mind. He was Touma Seguchi, my brother.

I shifted my body back into the bed and pull the covers over, hating his appearance before me. My body began to shiver, scaring the hell out of me with this sudden panic attack.

Miyashi quickly got Touma out of the room and pulled me out from my blanket, sending me roughly into an embrace when he took the chance to force the pills down me throat.

I choked and coughed, but the pills eventually got swallowed. I calmed down a few hours later and Miyashi rested my tired body onto the bed, sending me to bed with a kiss on my forehead.

Touma didn't move, just stood there and watched as if he was a suspect in a court.

"Seguchi…" Miyashi whispered and Gently pushed the blonde out of the room.

The blonde walked out slowly, falling onto a wall on the corridor. His legs were weak and there's no way he could walk much longer. Slowly, he slipped onto the ground, breaking down into tears and cried.

"Why?" he screamed and banged his head onto the wall.

The man walked away, leaving the boy all alone to cool himself down. He knew he could do nothing about it but to leave the siblings alone. He was an outsider. Besides, he didn't want to know.

Touma left the building later that day. Since then, he came to visit me very often, trying as much as he could to communicate with me. I never really replied him. I knew he was talking to me and I really knew what he meant. I just, I just didn't want to talk to him.

That day, I stood by the window, holding onto the grills. As usual, I was singing with words that just pop up in my mind out of nowhere.

"Kori," he said and looked into his reflection in the mirror on the wall. "Do you still hate me?"

I stopped singing and looked at him, piercing straight into his eyes.

"No, Seguchi." That's what I replied him.

He was shocked with the formalities, but never held a grudge to it. He knew I don't regard him as a family, but he insisted a reply so I gave it to him.

"Thank you." He replied.

He was touched somehow; I could see it in him.

Nevertheless, that was mostly a lie. I really hated him, but I can't bear to let him be upset since he didn't have a very strong heart. I didn't want to hurt him. He was my brother after all.

I sat down onto the bed and continued with the lullaby, the notes gently flowing in the room. Seguchi lied down and lay onto the bed beside me, humming with the tune.

How far should I go How much more do I have to know 

_I stayed at that spot thinking:_

"_How much further do I have to go?"_

_You never gave me a chance,_

_Saying that I'll always be a kid._

_I'm an amateur and all will always be just a dream._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_There, once again_

_You sang Baa baa black sheep._

_You made me remember that life is not fair,_

_Not fair at all._

_No one will ever had the same bag wool._

_That was a lie and that was truth._

_I couldn't remember those confusing words,_

_All I knew that it was just a fairy tale._

_Another time,_

_You sang about Mary._

_You told me that the little lamb followed her everyday,_

_Just like me._

_I'll always be leaning onto your back for support,_

_I'll always be the first who shall fall in love with you._

_I knew I couldn't trust your words,_

_But at last it came true._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_Today, I sat before you._

_I sang this song with you._

_You told me that I was childish, being ridiculously stupid_

_Like I always am._

_I'll never be able to grow up,_

_Remembering the haunting past that shall torture me._

_I'll always be a stupid kid,_

_Losing and gaining in every aspects of life._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_If I were to be given a chance,_

_I will grow up._

_Even if I'll be stuck in those memories,_

_I believe that it's just a dream.

* * *

_

**End**

Touching or just being confusing, you decide.

The title of the song is "I'm a kid." Once again, my proud creation. I love that song, describes lot about me. It was a song that was composed right after my darker days; it was a song with a feeling of regrets. I hope you guys love it.

Arg…the GCE is nearing and I'm dying. Why do I have to take Cambridge papers, they're so difficult. Just because I wanna study in Singapore? That's too much. I'm so tired and sleep deprived nowadays that I hardly had the time to think for myself.

Saa…Better get on with life if I really aim to be someone of use.

Gangarimasu!

Please Review…


	11. My Beautiful Brother

**Chapter 10**

**My Beautiful Brother**

The sun was glaring into the cool autumn dawn, lighting the hospital ward into a light glowing orange. The orange coloured the two blondes, one laying on the bed and the other by the side. Two streaks of tears were flowing down their face, remorse and sadness that blew the coldness on their sleeping faces.

The girl churned and woke up when the light blazed into her layer, streaming a bloody colour of redness. She sat up immediately and wiped away those annoying tears, only to find that her brother was sleeping beside her.

Kori didn't budge, nor did she try to move away from him. She moved her fingers into his hair, slowly sliding his fringes into a much neater position so that she could see his face.

Still no matter how much hatred there might be, she loved her brother. The same person who wanted her well-being even if she decides to hate him forever.

Kori shifted herself, pushing her body so that she could lie onto the bed in a sitting position. Then, lifting the blanket into a wave pattern, she covered Touma into the warmth of the blanket. Touma snuggled into the blanket, pulling the blanket close to him as he felt the warmth, like a slithering cold-blooded hounding for warmth.

Without much thinking, Kori wrapped her arms around her sleeping brother and embraced him. Sobbing quietly as the memories of them together during the darker days drew pictures of hurt and pain into her mind. She was just tired of being the murderer and the victim of her life and many others. She knew she had hurt Touma deep, deeper than the depths of the oceans. Yet, she felt as victimize as him.

There was nothing she could do then, nothing. When she finally opened her eyes, she was already covered with blood from head to toe, and Touma was already in front of her, staring and screaming at the scene.

The girl wished that she was caught by the police, to be punished for her sins. She doesn't want to live as a sinner. She does not want to suffer in all these anymore.

Miyashi, he was the one who took Kori away from the police proving that she had a serious condition of clinical depression and that her parents were abusers. Tearing her sleeves down one by one, even though she rejected violently.

Kori picked herself up again, slowly recovering herself from the pain within. She picked up her arms, looking at the bandages that covered the hatred red in it. She knew they would be in stitches now, those like what you'll see after a plastic surgery. Kori knew her brother cared, using plastic surgery to recover the beautiful pale skin of hers. But no matter what is done to it, there will always be a scar left; the scar that will always pop the memory back into her mind.

Kori allowed her eyes to drift around the space. Looking for an answer of how she got back there again, when Touma suddenly jerked and blinked his eyes.

"Kori?" Touma whispered when he saw Kori sitting on the bed.

Kori did not really reply, a nod of acknowledgement acknowledged his presence but then, nothing else.

Touma sighed, holding his breath when Kori turned and looked at him in the eyes. What he saw was not only a beautiful, but a soft pair of eyes.

The girl shifted her body again, much more closer to the blonde. Touma didn't tried to stop her, just watched confusingly, until his sister wrapped her arms around him and cried.

Touma didn't budge, just like as before. When they were much younger, Kori used to do that too. Even if she was badly beaten up by her father, Touma was always there for her. Always opening a way into her heart, until it finally shuts down when he was forced to laugh with sympathy by their father.

Touma held his sister tight, realizing that she was shaking in his arms. He initially thought that was a panic attack, but finally understood that Kori didn't want him to go as her arms tightened.

"Please Touma, don't leave me alone."

The blonde was stunned, finding the girl to say that. Nevertheless, he pulled her in, tugging her into the warmth of his body.

"I'll never leave you unless you want me to, Kori."

Kori grabbed onto the material on his coat, sobbing into it. It had been a long time since she did that, Kori felt like it was never ever.

The more she felt her brother's warmth, the more her childhood came back to her. Every time after being torn apart, she always runs into the yard, where Touma would always followed her hugging her as soon as he found her spot. He would use his thumbs to wipe away the tears, kissing her forehead when she stopped crying.

Kori wasn't sure now, Touma will never do that again. That's what she had given up on, even if she yearned for it.

Touma gazed at the crying girl. Her tears were almost dry now. The blonde slowly ran his fingers through her soft silky hair, pulling her close to him. Then, without Kori's consent, he kissed her on lips, licking it gently as he touch the brim.

"I love you, Kori. I do now and will be forever. This is the first and might be the last. I'm your brother, Kori. Let me know you're all right, at least."

He stood up and broke the embrace, leaving the girl sitting restlessly on the bed.

Kori held both her hands together, and then slowly moved them to touch her lips. Maybe she was just being shocked or she's crazy, she actually felt thankful. She felt thankful that she felt warmth in their relationship. Touma IS her brother, her beautiful loving brother.

Just as Touma was to leave, Kori bounced up and held onto her brother.

"Did I say you could leave?"

Touma turned around and looked at his sister's face.

Kori gazed into his beautiful yet sorrowful eyes that were now filled with pain as Kori touched him. The girl held onto him tight, unwilling to let go. She grabbed onto his collar and pulled him roughly in, as she stretched her tongue into the little opening in his lips.

Touma was shocked, but his body was going against his mind. His body relaxed and her pulled Kori in more. The both of them were playing mind games, both running their overthrown love and hatred with that kiss.

They both held on each other tight, not wanting to let go in fear of losing their sight. Kori was the first one who broke out to breath, only to say something that meant a lot to her.

"I want you back, brother. I'll never leave your side ever again. Will you accept me?"

Touma smiled and return a nod and a, "Yes, you may, Kori."

Kori smiled.

For years that a true smiled burned on her stress free face, Touma hope it will stay there forever.

Maybe it was just being utterly incest, or they felt it might be the last. The two held on tight and Kori licked on Touma's tender lips.

"Thank You."

---------------------------------

Kori held onto Touma's arm, unwilling to let go. She'd been asleep for hours, yet her grip was still tight, it seems that once she let go of her brother, she might never see him again.

Eiri laughed lightly and stroked the girl's hair gently.

"I know it's gonna be weird when I say this, but she looks cute when she's asleep."

Touma looked at him, then nodded in agreement.

"Yeah."

**End

* * *

**

Wow, the chapter is so short yet I took days to finish this babe. I guess I'm just being over emotional in this but I hope that the sibling would finally make up. But the kissing part, don't get me wrong. I just thought it would be the best if Touma let go of the love that he had on her so they could be siblings again. No lemony stuff happens afterward, so that's it.

Review please…


	12. Red and White

**Chapter 11 **

**Red and White**

Kori held onto her brother's arm tightly as he brought her out into the park for the fresh morning breeze. Even though Eiri was really getting jealous about the intimacy, He had to let them be since he had to admit, he's happy for the reunion too.

The three of them sat down on the bench, keeping the smile on their faces to each other's assurance, trying not to worry or upset anyone. Yet, the darkness in their hearts lurks in this happiness, it was really hard to lock it inside.

"Kori. Why don't you go there and play by yourself? I have something to talk with Uesugi about." Touma requested and patted onto His sister's head. "Please?"

Kori turned her head and nodded, "I guess I'm not allowed in your conversation."

Awkward, that's what Touma felt when she said that, But what else could he do? "Yeah, but I'll tell you when it's time okay?"

"Okay." Kori left the bench with a smile still glued onto her face, "I'll call you guys when I need anything."

The smile blew from the boys' faces when Kori left their sight, only to be replaced by a stern expression that shot straight into their voice when they began to speak.

"What is it Touma." Eiri began and shot his golden eyes onto the grass. "I hope that it isn't something that you're trying to manipulate again."

Touma kept quiet for a few seconds, hesitant to what he was going to talk about.

"Tou…"

"I'm not sending Kori to Kitazawa." He shot out. "I can't let her be there with his kind of condition."

Eiri gasped and shot his eyes immediately at Touma.

"I'm sorry Eiri, but her bipolar condition is..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" Eiri grabbed onto his coat and yelled, "She isn't insane ya know?"

Touma grabbed onto Eiri's hands and struggled, but in vain, his fingernail pricking into his hands. "What do you expect me to do then? I only and do have Kori as my only kin! I can't see why you have to see it in such a negative way. I only want the best of her; I just wanted her to be a normal person!"

"You mean she's not normal, Seguchi?"

Touma stared at Eiri's eyes, which were filled with rage and the same time fear.

"I…don't mean that."

"WHAT THEN?"

"I…"

"KYAAaaa!" A scream broke in suddenly and cut the conversation. The boys let go of one another and ran towards the owner of that scream.

"Kori!" Touma screamed and ran to her side, slowly dragging her away from the rose bushes in front of her, which the white roses were coated with red crimson, giving it a creepy kind of beauty in them.

"What the hell have you been doing?" He asked and held her hands up, inspecting the wounds on them.

Tears kept flowing down from Kori's face when her eyes met the blood. Touma quickly pulled her into an embrace in attempt to calm them down, after which Kori laid her tired and weak body on it.

"I…I was just going to get some roses for y…you guys, but…but…"

She broke on wails and hugged onto Touma, "I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry."

"There, there. You'll be all right. The wounds…"

"I'm going to die right? I'm…"

"You're not allowed to die." Eiri spoke and knelt down to face the girl, wiping her tears with his right thumb.

The girl nodded and sniffed.

"I'll take you back to your room to get the doctor." Touma said and carried the girl up, bridal-style. "Don't think too much about it since I'm here."

With that Kori fell asleep in Touma's arms, calming down with the warmth of her brother and the presence of her lover.

------------------------------------

(N/A: I'm sorry for ignoring Ryuichi's presence in the story for so long, now it's time to get back to him. Enjoy."

Ryuichi grabbed onto his guitar and strum the wordless tune, getting tired of all the commotion happening these days. The empty apartment had turned quite lonely without its owner's presence, colder in some way when he saw Kori's notebook untouched for months.

"Kori." The brunette breathes out and left the guitar aside. "Why was self-harm the big part of our lives, right after music? Why can't music be the top?"

"Da…da…dum…" he went with the rhythm of 'Enraptured Pain'.

He stood up and grabbed onto the notebook, picking up a pen at the same time and scribbled a few words into the latest page.

_Maybe our life's gonna end._

_It was just that same day we met that had predicted this._

_We've turned to each other from help,_

_Yet causing the both of us to be hurt._

_I wished that life could all start over again,_

_I really want you to see the real side of me._

'_Do or are we another being?'_

_I just want a perfect answer to it._

_Will you assist me?_

_**Sakuma Ryuichi.**_

------------------------------------------

"I suggest that Miss Seguchi see a psychiatric." The doctor suggested. "One that can replace Mr. Hashiba."

Touma sat down onto the couch, lowering his head down in each word the doctor said.

"But Kori, she won't allow me to."

"Mr. Seguchi, I know how you feel but. Unless she's sent to an asylum, she needs a new and better doctor to attend to her needs."

"I know that already, but it's not something that me myself is able to decide." Touma yelled back, almost in a screaming tone.

"I'm sorry Mr. Seguchi. But I hope that you come into a decision soon."

Touma growled in frustration and stormed out of the room.

"I just hope for the best of your sister before it gets worse."

-----------------------------------------

Days after living in the dead boring white building, Kori was finally released from the living hell.

Kori grabbed her stuff and kept it all in a bag that Touma had brought the day before, slowly clearing the mess bit by bit, showing a clean, white and of course, boring room again. The light glittered as it shone onto the piece of metal that constructed the frame of the bed, blinding Kori's eyes in its glaring light. It made the girl cover her face with her bandaged arms as she slowly moves away from that light.

"Oh darn." She said as she banged over her stuffs again, spilling the stuff in it all over the floor. She knelt down and put them all into the bag again and stood up, this time, zipping the bag before anything spills of again.

Ryuichi observed her and sat onto the bed slowly, waiting for Kori to get her packing done. "Finished?"

The girl shook her head and stared into the shining clean floor, picking herself up and laid by the frame of the bed and shook her head faintly as if she was disagreeing with something.

"Kori?" The brunette asked. Kori did not wait for him to finish; she stood up and moved over to Ryuichi. Slowly pulling out her hand, she grabbed onto Ryuichi's and pulled him up. "Let's go Ryu."

She said and the both of them left with awkward silence, as if an outburst is going to happen if anyone breaks into it.

But…

They left it as it is.

**End

* * *

**

As Long as I shall agree in this, I'm so getting back into this story again. I know a lot of people don't read this fanfic but I don't care! As long as I love it, I shall continue writing it until it ends!! 


	13. Distorted

**Chapter 12**

**Distorted**

Kori rested herself against the mirror, staring blankly into it as if she saw a ghost in it. Her long hair brushed against the floor as she fidgeted, but it eventually slowed down and came to a stop.

Touma stared, only to survey her condition. He did not say anything, not even interrupted her movements. Kori just laid there, in silence and it felt like forever. She was somehow trapped again, but he did not see how.

"Kori." He called out, unable to control the urg to anymore.

Kori regarded his presence with a nod, then, shot up from the floor and walked across the room and back onto the floor again when she knelt before Touma and sat down.

"Kori..."

Kori shook her head and looked at Touma straight into his eyes, banging her orbs onto his, as if she really wanted to assure him of something. The blonde only stared unconvincingly.

"I'm going to get a replacement for Mr. Hashiba."

Kori's restless eyes shot opened in shock.

"I know it's all happening again."

Kori shook her head immediately and grabbed onto Touma's coat.

"…N…no…" That was all Kori was able to say.

Touma shook her away gently, embracing her as he break out a bigger news, "I'm going to get you homebound with the doctor…"

"KYAAaaa…" Kori began to scream, wanting to stop Touma from his speech, but more of trying to deaf herself from the news.

"I'm sorry, Kori."

------------------------------------------------

Hashiba looked over the windows by his desk. His days with Kori are over and soon going to be taken over by his colleagues, as he prepared to leave Tokyo back to Hokkaido.

"Hey Hashiba!" A blue haired man shouted over the room to get Miyashi's attention. Ayato looked over the folder in his hands again and repeated, "Hey Hashiba. I need some help with that girl's folder."

Miyashi regarded him with a sigh and shifted his butt of the chair, standing up with the support of his sturdy desk which seemed to withstand his weight quite well despite that the previous desk collapsed while he was lying on the desk, sleeping with a couple of files from the social workers about his 'kids'.

"Yeah, Ayato. What's the problem?" He said and moved to his desk and pulled a chair to sit together with Ayato.

"Apparently dude," He said in an American slang and pointed onto the latest report on Kori. "This girl is that just what she seems to be."

Miyashi stared, muted.

"Bipolar reactions, signs of self-harm and adding on, she had something else that is clearly stricken off." He stopped and breathe, "I need to see her, now."

Miyashi nodded. "Okay, just…don't do anything weird okay??"

"Mnn." Ayato agreed.

--------------------------------------------

She had been lying there not daring to move for minutes already, staring at Ayato who regarded her with a smile whenever she moved, as if he was prying into someone or probably a pry. He observed her every movement ever since they came into the apartment. And this, had been lasting for a long tiring hour already.

"Stop that, Ayato." Miyashi urged when Kori had a frown lit on her face.

Kori didn't know who this man was, but it was probably her new doctor as her mind decides on that as Miyashi came in with him. Although Miyashi insisted that 'he's just an aide', but there was no enough evidence to see so as Miyashi was lying and she knew it. Miyashi was a bad liar.

Gripping onto Miyashi's shirt, she pulled him close and went into his cuddle. "Why does he keep doing that?" She complained and lay onto his chest. "It's irritating."

Irritated, she glared at Ayato, who was more in a smiling mode now.

"Ayato san. If you're still gonna stare at me like that, I'm sorry but I have to get you out of the apartment."

Given the ultimate instructions, Ayato lay back onto the couch and drifted his eyes away, "Whatever you say princess."

Kori growled and stomped her foot, giving an unappreciated expression. Maybe this was working or Ayato found something to pin on; he took out a medallion and stared at it.

"Well, princess. I seemed to see that you're really uncomfortable with me here." He chuckled and held the medallion in front of the girl. "I guess you're really interested in what I'm going to do to you since you're not quite reacting to my actions."

"Like I'll care." Kori growled sarcastically.

"…"

Ayato looked into her eyes, stopping his goofy behavior, asking her in a low pitch growl. "You won't? Let's see about what you'll do if I told you I was there when the white rose buds bloomed into a red rose."

Kori's eyes grew big, almost bursting out of reality, and grabbed onto Miyashi for support.

Miyashi was surprised at that reaction, but, he'd expected it since it's Ayato's treatment but...

As he brought himself to his main point, Ayato grabbed his backpack and dug into it for a photo album. "I don't think Hashiba had anything to do with this though, but I don't think it'll be of harm." He reached into it and flipped through the pictures until he came to what he was looking for. "Here." And showed it to Hashiba and Kori, who became numbed for looking at it.

"Ko…Kori…" Miyashi blurted out, yet trying to cover the picture.

Well, it is she. The bleached blonde hair, the dirty green orbs, the pale skin, but that smile of hers…it was beautiful. Beautiful like the flowers in spring, even though she was on a hospital bed all bound down and everything, she was really happy.

Kori stared at the photograph; beside her were Ayato, Miyashi and Touma.

"I'm really sorry, but I am forced to show you this Seguchi, no… it's Hashiba." Ayato said and patted onto Hashiba.

The girl turned and looked at Miyashi, who took his eyes off her.

"Miyashi…"

**End

* * *

**

End of chapter. I'm really going into this story although there're not many readers. I love this story and will finish it even if no one reads this!

Next chapter it'll be about Miyashi's life story. I hope you'll love it.

Please preview…


	14. The Truth

**Chapter 13**

**The truth – Miyashi's life story**

_-Miyashi's POV-_

Life as a seventeen-years-old teenager, I lived in the darker side of Hokkaido, living in alleys that kill the appetites even of beggars that were poorer than I was. Down the street was an illegal 'body-selling store'.

I was poor then, an orphan that was took in by the 'mama-san' of the store. Since young, prostitution was my game. Serving both male and female costumers, it was absolutely humiliating for being a man myself. Unlike female, I couldn't just spread my thighs and let someone in me.

But what else could I do? I need the money, for both my education and my key to freedom.

On June 21, a rainy night. I took a puff onto the cigarette, waiting for the arrival of my costumer; he or she had been late for an hour already.

"Well, well, well he's such a darling." I heard a voice from the door, as the customer and 'mama-san' peeked into it.

I did not move.

"Hi." The woman came in and locked the door.

I sat up and turned to face her.

"Hi darling." She hissed and lured herself over me, licking the tip of my lips in a sensual way that crept me out. Her blonde hair covered my face untidily while her green eyes stared at me like a cat in the night. She tried to get me to get into the mood by removing her upper piece of cloth. I did not answer to her signals, she did not care either. She threw away my cigarette and dived down into the base of my neck. She tore the pieces of the clothes that covered my body, her hands spreading my arms apart so that I had no means of defense.

"Ahh…Ahh…Madam…." I moaned and tried to get her attention. DON'T NEED THAT, BOY!" she screamed at me and threw the box of condoms out of the windows. She made me do it with her. I broke the rule of the store, she forced me to. "I'll pay you triple the price, so behave!"

With the seduction of money, I gave in to her. She brought herself onto me with force, most of the time with brutal violence.

After that day, she came a here a lot, all calling for my services. I'd tried to break away from her, but it all returns to her beating me up and paying a lot more cash. Mama-san was happy for the money though, so I was locked in a room (except during school hours), all the time ready to her pleasure without mama-san knowing that I had broken the rule.

Her name, Mizuko Seguchi. I heard that she was a demure wife of a very wealthy man of great status in society. Well, to me. It was just all a big fat lie.

Then, two months since she had first visited me, she came as usual, but this time not to me but to see the mama-san.

"I THOUGHT HE WAS BARREN!" I heard her scream. Her voice sounded very hysterical, more like a witch screeching than a lady's voice.

Only then I realized, she's pregnant. And worse still, with my child.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I was thrown out of the store back into the streets. But with Seguchi san's help, I was send to university for psychology studies through a reliable scholarship. She was afraid that I might threaten to tell her husband about the baby, so her had to use money to stuff my mouth.

My life was lit with the glow of freedom ever since, but my heart was still locked onto the baby even though years had past. How is he or she now, or what really happened to it.

On one sunny morning, the second day after the New Year, I was called upon the PA system to someone also by the name of Seguchi.

Initially, the only person that first got recognition in my mind was Mizuko. Anyway, she's the only Seguchi I knew then. Well, that was it. I got my ass out of the classroom and got down to the office, only to my surprise, an adolescent with green cat eyes fixed onto me.

It wasn't my usual reaction to stare, but he looks really like the male version of Mizuko Seguchi.

"Miyashi Hashiba?" he asked, both his hands on his hips. Well, he looked adorable though, but it soon brought me to the mind of the baby.

I stared at him from head to toe. He's tall all right, too tall to be at the age my child was. Confused, I asked, "May I ask who are you?"

First a flinch, then a sigh, he answered in a soft whisper, "Touma Seguchi. I'm…I'm the stepbrother of your daughter."

I stared. A smile lit on my face, glad that the child was still alive.

_A daughter? I had a daughter?_

He did not wait for my response, hissing, he pushed me hard right to the wall and pinned me against it. "What are you even glad for?" he growled and got his hands wrapped against my throat, "Mother and Kori almost got killed because of you!"

My eyes flinched; my body was overcome by a slight tremble. Touma's eyes became watery and soon, it was leaking. I couldn't look into those pains, but yet, I was crying with him. Touma's hands grew weak with the emotional pressure, allowing me to fall to the ground.

"You're an idiot, Hashiba." He sobbed with his face down in the shadows. "A total loser."

Touma's voice was shaky, but he was still determined to speak.

"Please save her."

TBC… 

**End

* * *

**

This chapter will end here. Up next, you'll see someone else's story, but the story still continues…

Please prepare yourself in the never-ending spiral of darkness and misery. What will happen next? Read to find out.

Please preview…


	15. The Sword and the White Rose

**Chapter 14**

**The sword and the white rose – Touma's life story**

_-Touma's POV-_

Her delicate skin was filled with wounds, old ones as well as fresh ones. I laid by her bed, running my fingers against those wounds as I rubbed the medication on her.

_What happened?_

That was what that I was most concerned about. I came home from school and Kori was crying in the yard behind the rose bush. Her blood was stained onto the white petals as she hid in the bush. First I thought she had been naughty and accidentally fell into the thorny bushes. But as I approached her, I thought otherwise. I tried to get her in the house, but her arms flinched and refused to go with me. So, I thought of leaving her there for a little while more while I go in to get some medication.

Tripping over the carpet as I enter the house, the servants greeted me as usual but with a much colder tone.

"Has anything happened?" I asked them but none of them dared to speak.

I took it as a usual respond of Father being unsuccessful at work again and coming home with a bad temper, not knowing that was something much more serious that may even endanger my own safety.

"TOUMA SEGUCHI!" A voice boomed through the whole hall room, ringing in my ears.

"Good afternoon, Father. What's with the…" I was about to finish when he interrupted.

"Where's your sister?" He growled.

I didn't think twice before my answer, I soften my voice and answered to him with the slightest caution, "She's in the rose bushes Father, and she appears…(to be hurt)" He did not even wait for me to finish. It all happened so fast; Father rushed out and Mom appeared, injured with many bleeding bruises all over her arms.

"Wait!" She screamed after Father. She ran towards me and grabbed onto me, "Why do you have to tell him?" She screamed.

Then, a high-pitched screaming. It lasted for about five seconds, breaking only when it finally died down. Mom and I rushed out, ignoring the servants who soon began to weep.

Kori was dragged out of the bushes and Father was standing beside her with a sculpting knife in his hand. His gentle face smeared with blood and hatred. Kori had fainted.

Father fell to the ground and fainted too. Mom embraced Father and weeps in a million apologies. I stared at them and got myself to Kori's side. Trembling in fear, I got up weakly and carried the bleeding child away from the scene.

Passing through the crowd of cowards in the house, I brought her up to her room and locked the door.

"Kori…wake up…" I sobbed weakly and embraced her. I couldn't bring myself to even look at her face.

Her blood smeared over my uniform, dying them from a pale yellow to a dark red colour. I was petrified, but knowing that it was not the time to be staying still and doing nothing, I got her onto the bed and let her rest there while I go to the washroom to get some wet towels.

I came back crying. Wiping the blood off her body, I could see more and more of her bare skin, but the blood keep oozing out from the cut and covering it again. The more I felt frustrated, irritated, the more I feel the urg to just stop and scream.

I couldn't. I knew that even of the entire world do I feel terrible; I'll never let Kori go.

The red towels dropped onto the floor one after another. Kori slowly opened her eyes and looked at me motionlessly.

"Touma." She said in a soft whispering voice.

I leaned forward, in hope that she would tell me that she's okay or that she'll pull through. But I guess my hopes were too high.

"_Why do you have to tell him?"_

-----------------------------------------------------

The council took notice of our family situation, since the neighbours saw what happened during that day and called the police.

Father was brought to court, charged with the deed of child abuse and attempt of murder, and was sent to jail of a jail term of five years and six months with ten strokes. He was also sent for counseling and regular mental checkup since the doctors had found him to have severe clinical depression.

Mom and I were separated from Kori and had suggested to send Kori for foster care, but it was not approved since they found out that Kori's case was not minor. Kori was sent to a hospital and they had found her to have an inability to communicate after the incident. So, it was suggested that Kori was to be in care of someone that studies psychology and knows how to handle the situation and mom proposed Miyashi Hashiba.

**End

* * *

**

The chapter ends here. Kori will have her final say about her background. What will happen?

Please preview…


	16. Virtual, Black and White

**Chapter 15**

**Virtual, Black and White**

* * *

(Continuation from Chapter 12 Distorted)

As he brought himself to his main point, Ayato grabbed his backpack and dug into it for a photo album. "I don't think Hashiba had anything to do with this though, but I don't think it'll be of harm." He reached into it and flipped through the pictures until he came to what he was looking for. "Here." And showed it to Hashiba and Kori, who became numbed for looking at it.

"Ko…Kori…" Miyashi blurted out, yet trying to cover the picture.

Well, it is she. The bleached blonde hair, the dirty green orbs, the pale skin, but that smile of hers…it was beautiful. Beautiful like the flowers in spring, even though she was on a hospital bed all bound down and everything, she was really happy.

Kori stared at the photograph; beside her were Ayato, Miyashi and Touma.

"I'm really sorry, but I am forced to show you this Seguchi, no… it's Hashiba." Ayato said and patted onto Hashiba.

The girl turned and looked at Miyashi, who took his eyes off her.

"Miyashi…"

* * *

Her fingers ran towards the picture, examining the details of her expression. There were flashes in her mind, running so fast that it seems almost impossible to grab them.

"Miyashi." She said and looked at Miyashi who was beginning to feel guilty.

Memories from her childhood began to rush through her mind.

_STOP IT, SEGUCHI SAMA. YOU'LL KILL HER. I ADMIT, HASHIBA IS HER BIOLOGICAL FATHER. SO PLEASE STOP BEATING HER! -Mizuko_

_YOU CHILD OF A DEVIL. YOU'RE THE CAUSE THAT MIZUKO WANT A DIVORCE WITH ME HUH. –Kento (Touma's father)_

_SO THEREFORE, KENTO SEGUCHI WILL NOT BE ALLOWED ANYWHERE NEAR KORI SEGUCHI OF ANY REASONS AT ALL. –The Judge_

_WHY DO YOU HAVE TO VISIT ME CHILD, AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE TO YOU? - Kento_

_I'M SORRY. -Miyashi_

She stopped thinking about them and only to realize that tears had begun to fall.

"Why am I doing?" she said and wiped her tears away with her sleeves, "Why am I crying?"

She looked at Ayato and stood up, covered her face and sobbed.

Miyashi tried to consol her, but Kori flinched and backed away from the two and rested her back onto the wall, but her weak body was soon overcame by gravity.

"I thought I'd get over it. It was washed away, it was gone. But…"

Ayato spin his medallion with his fingers, but his eyes were fixed onto the crying girl. "Regrets?"

Kori shook her head.

Slowly, Ayato lifted himself from the floor and crawled towards Kori. With a gentle voice with a gentle touch, he lifted Kori's head with his thumb and index finger.

"What happened?"

The girl lay onto Ayato's chest and sobbed while Ayato embraced her. He knew that his little Alice was gone and he knew about her more than Miyashi since he was her guardian.

"I tried to forget about the fact, I got immersed with music so that I can forget all the pain." She sniffed and continued, "But it just couldn't seem to stop so I ignored it. After you left me that year, you let Miyashi take care of me in your place. I knew you prepared this so that it might be possible that we reunite. I do hope so too since I already knew, but I just feel sorry for Father of what happened because of Miyashi and I. I just didn't feel that this is right."

Kori stood up with the help of Ayato and sat beside Miyashi was already sobbing.

"I'm sorry Miyashi, but I can't do that."

Miyashi wiped his tears and apologized, "I know that, that's why I've decided to end this by returning back to Hokkaido. I didn't want any trouble for you anymore."

Kori nodded and sighed, her tears still flowed down endlessly.

"I've always treated you as a kin, but I still can't be your daughter yet with such a filthy background." Kori joked and hugged the brunette, "Thank you."

The blue haired man smiled and stood up, with a moment of silent, he held onto Kori's shoulders and ask "Miyashi's leaving today, do you know that?"

"I know." She said and stroked the brunette's hair, "Well, I hope that Alice finds her way out of the wonderland soon, but she didn't. I'm sorry Miyashi."

Miyashi nodded.

"I'll miss you, Miyashi. Thank you."

**End

* * *

**

**Koaru:** What's the complication here anyway? It never seems to end!

**Yuki:** well, it's ending soon. But I want everyone to get the full picture of the complicated relationship here in the story.

**Koaru:** Urg…I give up arguing with you. You always say things that make the least sense.

**Yuki:** Hey, who do you think I am? The Mad Hatter?

**Koaru:** See what I mean?

Please preview…


	17. Alice and the Pink Bunny

**Chapter 16**

**Alice and the Pink Bunny – Kori's life story**

-Kori's POV-

Emptiness overcomes my soul each time I awake from the bloody nightmare. It was more of a torture compared to seeing the real scene; at least, I will be able to feel something.

"I'm home!" the door swung open with a loud bang as it hit onto the wall. "Oi Hime (姫: princess), look what I've brought you!"

I was not entertained, not even a blink of an eye. Usually I would respond to his nonsense, but not this day.

"Hey, you feeling better today?" He asked and placed the soft toy in my arm. "This is for you, Kori chan." He said with a smile.

His blue hair brushed past my face as he sat beside my bed.

"Well, Ou Sama (王様: emperor/king) wants me to bring this 'knight in shining armor' for his princess." He said and toyed with its long pink ears, "Even Ouji Sama (王子様: prince) misses his darling sister."

I ignored his long-winded speech and stared down at the floor. There, I could see his beige-coloured bag pack, inside was a shining looking book that took my attention. It was not the usual Japanese tales storybook he had brought that day, but an English book, 'Alice in the Wonderland'.

"Alice in the Wonderland." I said in a soft voice and pointed to the book.

Surprised by my respond, Ayato took the book out of his backpack and put it in my palms. "You wanna read it?" he asked and I nodded. "No samurai story today?" he asked again and I shook my head.

"Oh well." He said and flipped open the book. Although there was little illustration, I could see that this book was interesting through the words that were featured on the first page.

_A land of voyage and nonsensical dreams._

_The poker that seemed to surrender to thee._

_The rabbit and a cup of tea,_

_The grinning cat, the signs and the big fat pea._

_As Alice got trapped in this never-ending dream,_

_You'll get to see your theme._

_Well, Alice might be the key._

It was not the usual 'Alice in the Wonderland' that I've read from any other books, or seen on any other television programs. This was a book that Ayato had borrowed from a friend from overseas. As soon as Ayato realized this fact that it might not be the book for my age, he wanted to stop reading but I place my hand over it and stared at the book.

"Continue reading." I demanded.

As much as he wanted to stop, he wanted to hear me talk, so he resented to my request.

_Once upon a time,_

_There lived a blonde hair girl by the name of Alice._

_Alice was a very beautiful girl,_

_She had large blue eyes and fair maiden skin of a princess._

_Alice was under a willow tree one day,_

_Reading a book beside the running stream that took her fear of loneliness away._

_Her fingers flipped through the pages,_

_Her mind was flashing with magical creatures._

"_Oh, how'd I wish that I could have such nonsensical dream."_

I read through the page and flipped to the next. My mind was flashing with the scene and I didn't want it to stop.

_A gust of wind,_

_A warming ray,_

_Sound of steps,_

_The clock's ticking._

_Her eyes spun and nymphs danced upon her fingertips,_

_A blink of an eye,_

_An astonishing sight._

_A rabbit, all dressed in a tie and a bow passed by._

_A clock on the right,_

_A letter on the left._

"_Who are you?"_

_It asked the little girl,_

"_Oh well, never mind._

_I'm late and the queen's not going to wait!_

_I'm late, too late!"_

_Alice was surprised,_

"_The rabbit talks!"_

_She squealed and jumped to her feet._

"_I'm going to follow it."_

_She decided and ran after it._

I wasn't really sure what this means but I could still picture the situation.

Ayato looked at me and flipped the page. There was an illustration, a monochrome picture, of a little girl dress in a dress, grey-and-white stripy socks and black leather shoes chasing after a grey little bunny that wore both a tie and a bow on it's collar holding onto a small clock on its right paw and a letter on its left paw.

"Alice ran after the bunny," Ayato started and pointed to the little girl, "What will happen?"

I stared at the picture really hard, until I found something queer about the picture. I pointed to the background to show him, there was a rabbit hole at the corner of the picture with a black and white spiral pattern.

The words read:

_She ran and followed its tail._

_How far she went,_

_She didn't know._

_All to begin with,_

_The chasing of the grey rabbit,_

_It led her around the garden,_

_Pass the flowerbed,_

_Pass the soaring swallows,_

_Into a dark rabbit hole._

Ayato flipped again, this time with a smile as he found my lips dancing with the words.

_It was so dark she couldn't see._

"_Wait!" she screamed._

"_Wait for me!"_

_She crawled a little faster,_

_Fear of losing sight of the rabbit,_

_She lost her touch,_

_And down she fell._

_Her eyes ran everywhere,_

_Scanning the hole she fell into as soon as there was light._

_There were candle floating upside down in mid air._

_Clocks were stuck onto the walls like gold in a mine._

_The numbers of the clocks did not end at twelve,_

_XIII, XII, XI, X, IX, VIII, VII, VI, V, IV, III, II, I._

_There were bells ringing,_

_She could hear the magpie singing._

_But as soon as she realize,_

_She could hear the Angels weeping._

"What are these?" I pointed to the numbers.

The man pulled the bunny's arm over the numbers and explained that it's numbers in another language. Then he read to me, "thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."

"That's a weird timing, clocks usually have twelve numerals." I said with a playful frown and Ayato laughed. "Wait till Ou Sama hears about this."

I hugged onto the bunny and continued reading.

_Down she went and fell onto a big flat land._

_A room with zillion doors_

_Big and small._

"_Oh where should I go now?"_

_The girl sighs and stared at the white marble table._

_There was a key._

"_I bet the rabbit went through the door where this key fits."_

_She said and took the key._

_She tried a few,_

_But it couldn't fit._

_The key was way too big._

_She became upset,_

_She was panicky._

_She began to cry,_

_It took her a long time to stop,_

_Soon she was surrounded with a little stream._

_Just then, a little squeak._

"_Here, try me!"_

There was another illustration, at the end of a page. A little door with a very big doorknob.

On the next page, there was Alice and the little door.

Alice bend down and stared at it. 

_The door squeak,_

"_I'll lead you to the queen,_

_Where the rabbit's going,_

_Now open me."_

_Alice poked the key in._

_She turned the knob and it opened to another theme._

_There was a garden in the scene._

_But she was too big to be in._

_Alice began to cry,_

_She knew it was not possible to enter for her size._

_She cried and cried,_

_She even took no pride._

_There were cookies served on the table,_

_She took them and ate them without thinking on the double._

_Soon she began to shrink._

_Smaller and smaller she'll be._

_Soon, the size of an ant she became,_

_Drowning into the water that appears out of nowhere._

_The water washed her through the little door,_

_Into the garden that she saw before._

_She laid her wet body on the green grass and sighed._

_The light blinding her eyes._

_Then, darkness covered and there was a face,_

_A giant dodo dressed in a cape with an equally big purple rat as a friend._

"_Serves you right for drowning in you own tears."_

_The dodo said and ran away._

"_Hey wait!"_

_Alice said,_

_But only the rat stayed._

"_Hello rat."_

_She greeted,_

_The purple rat stared at Alice and said,_

"_I'm a purple rat and my name is Rat."_

"_Yes, I can see that."_

_Alice replied and patted the giant rat._

"_Do you know how to find the queen?_

_I need to talk to the rabbit with the bow and tie on its collar."_

"_The queen's advisor?"_

_It asked and scratched its head._

"_He's going to a party at the palace,_

_The queen's order."_

"_A party? I love parties!"_

_Alice squealed in joy and smiled,_

"_I hope that she'll let me join the party."_

"_They'll be playing croquet,_

_The queen is inviting everybody."_

_The rat replied and pointed at the east._

"_The rabbit went this way."_

Then, another illustration, there was the rat and Alice, both running indifferent directions.

Alice ran east, thanking the big purple rat 

_While the rat ran west saying,_

"_Off to the palace!"_

"Alice's tricked?" I asked Ayato and he said no. "Wait till you see what happens, Kori."

On the next page, there were flowers everywhere. The beautiful picture amazed me and I was staring in a daze, until the clock beside me rang. It was ten in the night and time for bed.

I sigh and close the book while my guardian tucked me to bed.

"Ayato will continue reading it tomorrow right?" I asked and he nodded.

I couldn't think more, and soon I fell into the hands of the weariness just like any other ten years old kid at bedtime.

But this time for the first time, there was no bloody nightmare before my eyes but what I saw was Alice's sightings.

The pink bunny Ayato passed to me was dressed in a bow and a tie. "My name is Kumagoro and I'm your friend." It said in a tiny voice.

--------------------------------------------------

The next day I woke up smiling, yet with a tear down my face. I didn't want to think more so I wiped my tears and said, "I wonder what will happen to her."

**End

* * *

**

**Koaru:** Alice in the Wonderland huh…

**Yuki:** It's cute. That's my favorite fairytale! I always want to write something like that.

**Koaru:** Whatever Mad Hatter, are you celebrating your Unbirthday today?

**Yuki:** Yes! Yes! Sing me a song!

**Koaru:** Oh boy…it's so tiring talking to her.

Please preview…


	18. Dawn

**Chapter 17**

**Dawn**

The school days recovered after July as the days of misery finally passed off. Miyashi had left the night before and Kori was soon regretting on her decision of not sending her best friend off. Maybe she was afraid of the truth or she simply did not want the guy to see her cry, she had made her choice and there was nothing more she could do now.

Kori sat in her seat spinning her green Pilot mechanical pencil around her fingers, dropping it a thousand times and picking it up again whenever it fell of her hand. The lecturer's words seemed so foreign and unfamiliar that she felt like she was in a Greek class.

All was foggy for her until she heard the laptop beeping. Eiri's messaging:

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_Hey Kori, r u alrite? U seemed really lethargic for the day._

Kori stared at the screen, then replied.

**AliCe In ThE WONdeRLAnD: **_Miyashi left Tokyo._

Eiri was stupefied by the message. But he was still a little glad for that, at least Kori was not ignoring him.

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_im so sorri 4 tt._

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_if u really hate staying' in class now, y don we skip class?-_

_(**NittLEGraSpEr **Joins into the conversation)_

**AliCe In ThE WONdeRLAnD: **_I noe wat u want, but it's ok really._

**NittLEGraSpEr: **_Hey, skipping just one lesson is just fine. I'll take down the notes u guys need. Leave it all to me!_

**AliCe In ThE WONdeRLAnD:**_ Ryu, I haven't even decided on tt yet!_

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_Thanks Sakuma._

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_come' on._

**ThEvatRaBBit: **_Just one class pls… o _

Kori was won over by the counter attack.

The girl put her pencil down and got herself settled down in her choice. She switched off her laptop and stood up, ignoring the astonished lecturer who was just going into the effects of alkenes with combustion, and stepped out of the classroom without breaking a sweat. Soon after she left, Eiri followed.

The hallway was smogged by the ambience of fear and creepiness, echoing the footsteps of the only two being walking by.

Eiri ran after Kori, and soon caught up with her. He grabbed the girl and held her close to his heart, pulling her into a cuddle.

"What's the rush?" Eiri whispered into her ear, "Come' on, I'll bring you somewhere for a proper breather."

Then, he took her by her arms, bringing her out of the school compound and out to the roads. Passing a building and another, not knowing the end of their journey, they continued to move until their legs command them to stop. Kori gazed at her lover, seeing his worrying expressions had hurt her so much. Even when he's tired or trying to smile, the sign of a frown was there. Kori felt guilty. Even though she had tried so much, so much to stop their worries, it never seemed to stop.

Eiri was brought to a stop when they stood before Kori's apartment. Without a care, he searched into Kori's bag and took the bunch of keys with a black cat key chain and opened the door.

They took off their shoes and entered the apartment.

The door fell shut behind them as they entered, but they did not care to notice. Eiri pulled Kori into a deep dive, digging into her mouth with his tongue. Kori moaned and dug her fingers into Eiri's hair as they both slipped to the ground with Kori's back leaning onto the wall.

The blonde held onto Kori's waist, unbuckling the buttons of Kori's skirt and letting it slip off.

Eiri's lips ran from her mouth down to her neck, then the buttons came off, and into the chest. His finger ran into the piece of clothing at the bottom and allowed it into her entrance.

Kori felt the warm fingers coming in and began to panic, but it all broke down to a long sensual moan. Her body began to shift till her back was lying onto the blonde. Eiri took the chance to grab onto her chest, pulling her to him in one arm. His fingers dug deep into the entrance as Kori's body began to shiver uncontrollably. The pleasure took over her as Eiri's fingers dug deeper, soon her body began to take action as well. Her hands pressed onto Eiri's, trapping the fingers in the cavern as her thighs spread opened willingly. Her body began to drift with the rhythm; soon the waves brought her to a seemingly never-ending moan of pleasure. The blonde, lost in the mood, dragged the girl all the way into room.

Their clothes were thrown all over the room as the blonde licked, sucked and bit her. Then with her body hung half off the bed; the blonde entered her forcefully as the girl fell into the feats of pain and struggle.

Eiri held onto her thighs, slowly pulling her back onto the bed while she struggled the pain that had overcame the initial feel of pleasure. He pulled her in and embraced her with his arms, strong enough to make sure that Kori's struggles were a waste.

Kori felt tattered all of a sudden. Trying to overcome her tears, she held onto Eiri and lay against his chest.

"I'll be leaving soon." Eiri sighed and curled Kori's hair between his fingers. "To New York."

The girl's green eyes shot open and pulled herself away from the blonde. Maybe it was because of fear, maybe because of mere shock, she felt that it would be safer if there were a distance between them.

"What's wrong Kori?"

Kori did not answer. Pulling the blanket to wrap her body (more because of the scars on her body), she backed away from Eiri.

"Kori?"

"I'm sorry," Kori sobbed and covered her face with the blanket, " I'm really sorry that...You'll be leaving without me."

Calmly, Eiri nodded his head as if he knew that this would happen. He reached for his shirt by the side of the bed and put it on, then reaches for his other clothes. "Kori put on your clothes I'm bringing someone here today."

Shocked but still sobbing, she ran after Eiri and tugged onto his shirt before he reaches the door. "Eiri. I'm very very sorry."

Eiri gently lifted Kori's hand and put it on the other one, then with a smile he turned the knob and opened the door. "I know."

The door closed behind the blonde and Kori fell onto the ground. Her legs were trembling and her chest felt heavy, her mind felt empty for a few seconds there. With tears still hanging around the rims, she grabbed onto the drawer of the furniture and pulled it open. She was just looking around for some fresh clean clothes when something caught her eyes.

The 'forget-me-nots' dress.

Kori stared at the dress and pulled it out.

"I wonder if he remembers this…" She said and put her arms through the sleeves and dressed herself up.

---------------------------------------------------

Finally, the school day is over. A platinum blonde hair teenager, a not-so-tall brunette boy and his pink bunny rushed out of school and across the road.

Knowing what they had planned, they could not help being a little too excited. Ryuichi gave a little smirk and ran a little faster wanting to see his best friend soon. Even Touma was happy and agreeable to the plan, participating in it was the best prove to show it.

"Nee…Touma. Did you really got the guy?"

Reaching his school bag for the keys as they approached their destination, Touma raced Ryuichi up the flight of stairs, he replied. " Trust me."

-------------------------------------------------------

Arranging her long hair around her shoulders, Kori stepped out of her room and into the living room. Before she could say anything, Eiri, Touma, Ryuichi and an American guy were all chatting around the sofa.

"Hey Kori!" Ryuichi shouted when he noticed a fifth presence. "Come join us we have something to tell you."

Shocked and confused, she followed the order and sat beside Ryuichi.

"My name is Claude, you can just call me K or Mr. K." The American guy introduced himself in perfect Japanese to the girl with a smile, reaching out his hand and shook hands with Kori. "Nice to meet you, Kori Seguchi."

Almost with a squeak, Ryuichi added, "This is K from NG Production Company, the one your used father own. He's here upon Touma's request to make us stars."

Kori nodded and replied, "Yes…go on."

"Just as Sakuma had said, we're going to start a band with K as our manager and our cousin Sora as our producer." Touma cut in before Ryuichi, "I'll be taking over NG soon after my education and uncle Kashiro (Sora's father) said that this might be a chance to learn and have fun. He said that it would be good if I could get the media's major attention before I take over."

Kori's eyes grew big and stared at the boys, "Hon…honto desuka?"

"Yes my dear princess." Eiri replied and stroked on Kori's hair, staring at the memorable dress and smiling. "It's your dream isn't it?"

Nodding, she replied with a smile, "Y...Yes…yes!"

Everyone laughed and hugged the girl (except for K of course. I mean, hello he just met them.).

"Thank you Kori. We love you"

**End

* * *

**

The story's ending soon in a couple of chapters. The only thing I really hope for is more reviews….

Reviews Please….


	19. Rhythm of the Stars

**Chapter 18**

**Rhythms of the Stars**

The following days were full of tension and unimportant arguments that were started over some of the most trivial things. Maybe the band was just being too nervous about their new occupation and status that soon brought about crowds of fans in school in just days after they started the band. Ryuichi had named the band 'Nittle Grasper' and since Kori had agreed on it, there were no objections about the name either.

Nittle Grasper huh. What does the name really means anyway? It was a matter between Ryuichi and Kori herself. Nittle can be split into two words: 'Not' and 'Little'. While Grasper means person who don't let go of something. And it adds up to become a band with not small but enormous dreams and refuses to give up on them. That was something that Ryuichi hopes to achieve while he came up with the name.

Eiri sat down beside Kori in the recording room, lying on her shoulders and humming onto a tune. This would be the last song he'll be recording before he leaves for New York. So it'll not be very much possible that he could stay in the band. After all, his dream was not in the music business, but in writing. If it were not for Kori, he would not even step into music or any media business at all.

Sighing really loudly, Eiri closed his eyes and stopped humming. It was just simply a gesture of bored ness really, but it took Kori's attention.

"Is there anything wrong?" Kori asked in a whispered and stroked Eiri's hair.

"Nah…" Replied the blonde when he found his actions to be quite worrying to Kori; "I was just thinking about how much I'll miss you when I leave Japan."

"Oh." Kori replied the blonde, somehow in a very upset mode, and stood up suddenly, jerking Eiri's head.

"Where are you going?"

"I…I'm gonna just go just ask Touma something."

Off she went and dragged her confused brother out of the room when he was in a middle of a conversation with K.

Eiri just stared in surprise, only for a while until he finds something quite wrong with her. Quickly, he stood up and ran after the siblings (mainly Kori). To him, Kori was big factor of his life, but what about to Kori herself. He felt that he needed to know it, and badly.

The corridors became longer and longer as he ran after Kori, it seemed it be a never-ending spiral until he reached the main entrance of the building where he found Kori crying in Touma's arms. 'Why was she crying?' This dangerous thinking had sent several negative thoughts and many worrying images flashed through his minds.

Confused and worried, he crept behind the wall where the siblings stood to eavesdrop. He knew that Kori would be enraged if she finds out about his action, but his worries for his love just ignored this fact and made him do it.

"I can't stand it anymore." He heard the girl screamed, "Please, please take me away from him."

"There, there Kori. Calm down." He heard Touma assuring his sister in a gentle but harsh tone, "I know what you feeling now but please just calm down for a second okay?"

Kori tried to breathe and reassure herself, it was sort of difficult but she tried to follow suit her brother's words, when she realized her orbs were leaking.

Touma pulled his sister into an embrace again, knowing very well that this could get worse if it attracts any attention. Kori did not like anyone to see her cry, but she just could not hold back. Touma knew her well, even if she did hated him before, he knew that little girl as if she were in the tips of his fingers.

"Touma, I just couldn't help it. I love him, but I just can't imagine what I'll do without Eiri." She sobbed and grabbed onto Touma's jacket and wiped her tears. "I need to leave him before I drop deeper. I know this is really selfish of me and that I broke my promise to him. I just couldn't help it. I couldn't leave yet. I want to be with you and Ryu. Not that I don't love him anymore. It's just that. I feel that I'm not worthy of him; I don't deserve his love, Touma. You know what I mean?"

"I don't." Touma replied with a harsh tone straight in her face. "I don't know why you yet to seek forgiveness when all of us had forgiven you. Mom, Dad, Hashiba, Ayato, Sakuma, Eiri and me. I don't see why you still blame yourself for everything."

Listening to the speech for mildly a minute, Eiri took a leave. He could not help himself, he felt that he had knew too much all of a sudden.

"I couldn't do anything for her." He muttered softly and took the elevator back into the recording studio.

---------------------------------------------------

"Go one, Go two. And one two three go!"

The count was given and off goes the drums Eiri was playing. Soon, The base guitar (By Kori) and synthesizers (By Touma) banged through the beat until the main guitarist (Last but not least our dear Ryuichi) began to play.

Then stopped all of a sudden with the base playing. And Kori spoke:

_I know that this would just be another stupid dream,_

_But are you there with me?_

A second of silence, the music jammed in again and Ryuichi took over. Grabbing onto the microphone, his voice began to tone down to a soother tone and dragged the rhythm while Kori blew in the base and echoed Ryuichi's part in the lyrics.

_I don't know much about you being in my life,_

_Maybe your appearance is just a lie._

_My life will never start without you,_

_Never end without you._

_I wanted it to end._

_Wanted time to stop._

_I don't want anymore,_

_All I need is you_

_Here_

_Here to be with me._

_With me here together forever._

_But why God?_

_That this will never be true._

_You have so many stars already,_

_Why can't you just give me some more time?_

_I'm not god, so_

_I can't do anything much for you my dear._

_I don't deserve you, princess._

_I don't deserve your love._

Kori approached the microphone for the second verse. There was when Eiri took on the echoing part. It made the verse a little rough but sort of magical yet a hard beat into reality.

_What if my dreams were just made-up fantasies?_

_Then you'll disappear,_

_Leave me here_

_Alone in this dark lonely world._

_I don't want this dream to end._

_Even if my stupidity never ends._

_I don't want to leave you,_

_You were already part of me._

_You are_

_Just an illusion, are you?_

_Tell me now before it ends!_

_But why God?_

_That this will never be true._

_You have so many stars already,_

_Why can't you just give me some more time?_

_I'm not god, so_

_I can't do anything much for you my dear._

_I don't deserve you, my prince._

_I don't deserve your love._

Maybe Eiri was just being emotional about the song, maybe about what he had heard when he eavesdrop the siblings' speech earlier on. Eiri's heart sank. His voice dropped since the verse had ended but it ended with parts and parcel of sobs. Then Kori and Ryuichi screamed their magic into the microphones together, both taking turns in the echoing part where the technicians began to add in effects in their echoes.

_I wanted it to end._

_Wanted time to stop._

_I don't want anymore,_

_All I need is you_

_Here_

_Here to be with me._

_With me here together forever._

_I don't want this dream to end._

_Even if my stupidity never ends._

_I don't want to leave you,_

_You were already part of me._

_You are_

_Just an illusion, are you?_

_Tell me now before it ends!_

_But why God?_

_That this will never be true._

_You have so many stars already,_

_Why can't you just give me some more time?_

_I'm not god, so_

_I can't do anything much for you my dear._

_I don't deserve you, my love._

_I don't deserve your love._

_Why can't you just give me some more time?_

_I'm not just any made-up fantasy._

_You were my light that was the source of my life._

_But I don't see why you need me here._

_What if I was just your dream?_

The song ended with a lowering of beat and volume, soon to a dead end. 'Love Fantasy' was the last song of the album and the band began to smile in relieve after it ended. (Even though after this day will be days of long tedious MV filming days, which Eiri's not gonna participate in.) After all they had been recording the song since after they stepped into the room, and it was after midnight already.

Touma began to yawn, quite loudly. It only took a second for Kori to realize his brother's behavior and ask if he were to live in her apartment that night. Ryuichi bounced up before Touma could answer and screamed a 'yes'.

The lively atmosphere was then in the way of someone who was nearly cracking up. His mind was filled with depression, the more he tried to laugh, and the more he would feel like crying. So it was decided that he would do nothing at all. Eiri stood up and left immediately when he thought no one noticed.

But a pair of green orbs followed his shadows out the exit.

"Let's go Kori, I'll send you home." Kori broke the vision and looked at K, who was smiling at her.

"Erm…okay."

**End

* * *

**

Just a little more…

Reviews Please….


	20. Cracks

**Chapter 19**

**Cracks**

Eiri dropped onto the ground and threw his school bag across the room, accidentally knocking a photo frame onto the ground where it came down with a crash.

The blonde stared at the broken frame from the door (he was leaning on the door) for a minute or so in silence before he stood up to clear the mess. He approached the frame and kneeled down to pick up the pieces of glass. It took him only a second for the photo in the frame to get his attention. It was a picture of 'you-know-who'.

He cracked up upon the picture and dropped the glass pieces back to the floor.

The glass reflected in the moonlight as it dropped. Like a slow motion movie, it drew his soul to just observe it fall and crash into a million pieces before crashing into the other pieces of glass.

_Beauty huh. _He thought and ran his hands through the powdered pieces of glass. _Is that what Kori felt when she saw these fuckers?_

The blonde pressed his hands onto it, applied enough pressure until his fingers were bleeding. The red acrylic blood streamed through the space and flowed into the pile, staining the glass pieces one after another until pain overcame his nerves that he took his hand off the pile and laid back onto the back of the sofa.

"What the hell am I doing?" He cracked into a squeak, "I will become like what I always hated. That was what happened to Kori."

(N/A: Kyaaa…..I feel like an idiot! I'd actually written till the end of the part already! Urg…. I am I so stupid to click no when it asked me if I'd save?! Kyaaa!!!!!!!)

Eiri swept the glass away from him and picked up his bag, pulling out his cell phone to call his best friend when it just rang.

Without hesitating he answered the phone with a 'hello', when he heard her voice:

"Eiri, can I meet you out? Like now?"

The blonde did not reply.

A sigh and a sign of a sob, she begged, "Please."

"Where are you?" He asked and looked out the window beside him. She was, as he had expected, just outside the apartment but Touma was with her. So before she could even reply, he spoke again, "I want to speak to Touma."

Kori held onto the cell phone for three seconds more, and then passed it to her brother.

"He wants to speak to you."

Touma nodded and picked up the phone, only to realize that Eiri was sobbing already. Although the weak behavior, he spoke immediately after Touma held the phone to his ears.

"I want to leave tomorrow. Can you get the air tickets?"

Touma nodded and replied a yes softly; in fear that Kori would be upset if she knows what Eiri's going to do.

"Pass the phone back to Kori."

Touma passed the phone to Kori, hesitated for a second before letting go of the phone.

Kori picked up the phone, still shivering, picking it to her ears. She knew that whatever Eiri's going to say is going to hurt him as much as it hurts her, but that did not stop her from talking to him. "Eiri?"

"I'm sorry." Eiri answered and draw the curtains open so that they can see one another's face. "I can't be by your side anymore."

Kori looked up at the window that Eiri was standing by, only to see a shaded figure. (It was past midnight remember? Plus, it was dark in Eiri's room.) Then, something was sparkling by the dark figure's face. Tears were flowing down Eiri's cheek.

"Let's break then." Kori said as if she did not care, but her heart was struggling for an answer as well. "I don't see anything that'll come out good from our relationship. I hope it ends before you leave."

Eiri's lips trembled and looked down at the girl.

She, who had now totally looked away from the window, and back facing the blonde, had dropped the phone from her ears. Touma picked up the phone and pressed it against her ears, and then Eiri replied, "Gomenasai, arigato, Seguchi."

Kori passed the phone to Touma and ran away from the spot. Touma picked up the phone but Eiri already cut the line. Touma looked back up the window but the dark figure had left, leaving the curtains wide open. Then with no hesitation at all, he ran after his sister.

Eiri stood beside the window, away from the window's view and hugged onto the phone. His heart cracked totally into smithereens, his body felt weak and heavy. All he could focus on was the teenage girl who just entered the room upon Touma's call a few seconds ago. Still holding onto her phone, which she had just ended the call when she heard her brother crying, she ran towards her brother and hugged onto him tight.

"Kori and I ended." He sobbed and dropped his head to Mika's shoulder, in which was returned with a kiss on his forehead, "I'm sorry baby brother, but I hope that you and her would find redemption soon."

Eiri nodded and replied a simple, "'n'. "

**End

* * *

**

Oh god, I'm so sorry that this chapter is so dammit short. T-T

But the story will end soon so just bare with it, okay?

Reviews please……


	21. Winter Dream

**Chapter 20**

**Winter Dream**

The weather was much colder as it soon marks the end of autumn. The leaves were almost gone and weather reports had predicted that it was going to snow soonest by the end of the week. The dried leaves filled up the streets and days in Tokyo were freezing, even though it was yet to be winter. Nittle Grasper was in the resting room, with all the members lying around the place restlessly.

Eiri was gone. The news was spread to all of the members once they stepped into NG; Eiri had cancelled his contract. It was a very depressing news for all of them to accept, even for those who knew this would happen. Even though K was pointing his new toy at them, none of them wanted to do anything.

Still holding onto the magnum gun, he growled and flicked his long blonde hair. His blue sharp eyes scanned the figures in the room, then grabbed a chair near him and sat down. "Will you people just stop it? What's wrong with Eiri leaving, life still has to go on, the sun will sill rise everyday. Why can't you people just pull yourself together? I had spent a lot for this shooting. Can you all, Masters and Mistress, just go on with it and end it soon, so that you can just continue to sulk there?"

No response.

K was so fed up. He put the gun onto the table and sighed, waiting for miracles to happen.

You know what? It happened.

A few minutes of silence passed by, Touma finally gave in. He stood up and grabbed Ryuichi, lifted him over his shoulders and pulled Kori by her wrist. The astonished two looked at Touma, then at K, who finally smiled, and at last at Sora, who took got of the being depressed matter and stood up. And soon their hearts lit up and struggled free, so that they can move at their free will. Then, excitement and laughter joined into their beat, happening to take over their upset tone as if they had forgot all about Eiri's existence.

"That was the Nittle Grasper I know." K laughed, "Now let's move people!"

-----------------------------------------

At the Tokyo International Airport, Eiri was resting on the seat (not gone yet) since his flight was delayed due to some technical problems with the plane itself. Bored, and clearly irritated, he took out a novel from his bag pack and began to read. Flipping through the pages and reading the line of words, Eiri tried to take his mind off the world he was in. The blonde took his time, but the words seemed to be playing games with him. It took a long time, and multiple times of reading the sentences before he could work his way with only the pronunciation of a particular word.

Finally after reading a particular page for seven times without knowing what was going on in the story, he gave up reading and slapped the book shut. His mind was too distracted and it made him really difficult to get other things into his mind; his family, Touma, the delayed flight and Kori.

In order to get himself relaxed, he took a few deep breaths and shut his eyes, focusing on the breathing exercise. His muscles became less tense and his body began to slide down onto the seat like a rage doll. Soon he realized his eyes were leaking, he wanted to speak but it came out into a wail with gibberish words with no actual meaning.

The wail became louder every second and it soon attracted strangers to try to comfort him. His eyes could not see in the tears and talking was useless, all he knew was that there were voices surrounding him and it was making him very uncomfortable. The more he tried to stop the wailing the louder it became.

_It's hopeless, just like as I am._

Then thoughts came gushing into his minds, lots and lots of negative thoughts that torn him apart piece by piece. The crying could not stop once it all came to him that he needed some space to really think it over but he could not. There were lots of regrets, lots of pain, that he just hope that someone he knew would just appear in front of him and just simply call his name. His eyes scanned the strangers frantically searching for hope, but there was just no one he knew or even has to do with his life somewhat or another.

His heart sank into the deep ocean instantly, but just when he felt that he should end his life, someone shouted his name, "Eiri Uesugi!"

The crowded cleared for the man to pass through and it took no time for the brunette to reach Eiri just to put a beige-coloured shawl over his neck and around his face. Eiri stopped crying and stared at the man, who was holding a photo of him in his left hand and wiping Eiri's tears using the shawl with his right hand. Dazed, his stares became so obvious that the brunette got nervous.

"My name is Yuki Kitazawa." He introduced, "I'll be your sensei in New York. Seguchi san told me about you, I want to meet you earlier so I took a flight here so that we can travel to New York together. But it seems that you're a little too nervous. Don't worry much, I'll take care of you from now on okay, Eiri?"

Eiri nodded and grabbed onto the shawl, when suddenly, Yuki lifted him up from the seat in a doll position that he sits right on top of his left arm. (Eiri was a Chibi that time and Yuki was so much bigger and taller than Eiri.) Using his right arm, he took Eiri's bag pack and took off to the counter knowing that the flight was ready. Embarrassed, he grabbed onto Yuki and lay onto his shoulder. Yuki stroked his hair gently not to break his fragile soul.

"Come' on, let's go."

----------------------------------------------

"STOP! CUT!" the director roared. It was already the eleventh time he was unsatisfied with the band since they started the filming. He had clearly given the instruction for Kori to strip off the jacket once the instrumental comes in and Kori was not willing to do so.

First, they were filming outdoors in front of the public. Secondly, the weather was god damned cold; about two degrees below zero. And lastly, she did not want anyone to see what's under that jacket.

It got the director so angry that he eventually screamed at the whole band till Ryuichi dragged Kori away from the scene. (Actually stopping her from starting a fight with the whole filming crew.)

"Stop dragging me Ryu, that baka director is so…" She screamed and struggled even if she knew that Ryuichi was too strong for her. "Sakuma Ryuichi! I demand you to let go of me!"

"Calm down, Kori." Ryuichi cooed. "Here, I have an idea."

He brought the girl out of the building and right into a taxi. In the taxi, he took out the phone to call K, telling him to postpone the filming. K screamed at him of course, threatening to blow his head if he did not return in that moment. (Ryuichi end the call to stop more blabbering and threatening.)

"Where are we going, Ryu?" Kori asked and lay back onto the seat, knowing that there would be no more working till the end of the day. "Somewhere fun or somewhere to just run away from K."

"Both, for you, I think." Ryuichi laughed and put his arm over Kori's shoulder, "I hope you'll like it. So just wait till we reach the place."

It was a quiet trip for the two. They both fell asleep as soon as they started to relax, due to the lack days of overnight working, only be awakened by the driver's call when they reached their destination.

---------------------------------

"Yuki…sensei." Eiri grabbed onto Yuki's coat and looked into his eyes. "Have you ever been in love?"

Yuki jumped; it was weird for a person you know hardly for a day to ask a question like this. "Why…what?"

"A…ah…nothing." Eiri looked away and to the window of the plane, "Forget that I asked."

"You're funny." Yuki laughed and stroked onto Eiri's head. "Love huh…it's like a good dream actually."

"A dream?"

"Yeah. It felt like a dream. When I first was in love, it came really unexpectedly. Then it felt so happy, but of reach when I can't really touch it…erm…I don't know how to give an actual explanation, but yup, it felt something like this."

Eiri did not answer. Just a simple nod he lay onto the cool window and sighed.

"I wonder if it had started in snow back home."

**End

* * *

**

I also wanted this to end soon so that I could go back to my other story.

Please review…


	22. Journal of Pain

**Chapter 21**

**Journal of Pain**

Kori and Ryuichi stepped out of the taxi and looked around them, when it started to snow. The white fluffy stuff drifted down from the empty blue sky.

"It…it's snowing." Kori breathed and grabbed onto Ryuichi's hand, "It's so beautiful."

Ryuichi nodded and wrapped his fingers around the girl's hand and tugged onto her for her to move. "Come' on, let's go."

First they enter the building, then a shop. Then this weird guy with blue hair, brown eyes, pale skin and multiple body modification on him stood out to greet the couple and almost freaked Kori. "Hi Ryu, you've brought a friend with you I see."

"Long time no see Shin," He greeted and put his arm over Kori to push her forward, "This is Kori Seguchi, and Kori, this is Shin Ukai."

"Pleased to meet you Shin kun, it's been a long time since I last saw you." Kori took his hand and shook it. Then looking back at Ryuichi, she growled a little and snarled at him (but she's smiling since Shin is just in front of them), "I think I know what you're up to, Sakuma san."

Shin was a little taken aback by Kori's speech, but before he even realized it, Kori gave a knock on his head, jolting his pathetic childhood memories.

(Flashback: This happened way back in grade school…)

"S…Seguchi san…I…I…I like you a lot, c…CAN I GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YOU?!"

Chibi Kori gave a straight stare at the blushing boy and shook her head.

"No." (A straight reply.)

Chibi Shin stared at the girl who just simply ignored him and walked away. His heart was powderished that instant, falling into a spiral of darkness.

(End of flashback.)

Shin began to drop into darkness again.

"Ah, you remembered?" (Kori said this really sarcastically.)

Kori sighed and walk up bravely towards Shin and tap on his shoulder, "I have a job for you, Shin kun. If you can cover some memories onto my body, I'll pay you really handsomely, plus…"

"I'll take the job!"

---------------------------

_**鏡の人は誰、**_

_**闇の心が守ているか。**_

_**闇の中の少女。**_

_**はねせって少女、**_

_**この怨みは。**_

_**魂の中が見なさい、**_

_**この人は君ですか。**_

_(Translation)_

_Who's that person in the mirror,_

_protecting the heart of darkness?_

_The girl within darkness._

_Let go girl,_

_That hatred in you._

_Look into your soul,_

_Is that really you?_

_**アリスの夢、**_

_**私は全部が見た。**_

_**でも、つまらない。**_

_**つまらないです。**_

_Alice's dream,_

_I'd seen it all._

_But, it's so boring._

_It's so boring._

--------------------------

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOURSELF? SEGUCHI!" K roared and pointed the gun at Kori's face. "YOU SHOULD AT LEAST IMFORM ME BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS!"

"Haha." Kori laughed sarcastically, "You should then go point your stupid gun at Sakuma san over there. He's the one who brought me to the tattoo shop."

"And you know what? Kori didn't even winced when the person poke those needles into her!" Ryuichi added, "She's so cool!"

Like a game of Roulette, the gun was pointed at Ryuichi as soon as he finished his sentence. "Sakuma kun."

"Calm down K," Touma grabbed onto the magnum by its head, "At least that'll help with the filming progress."

"He's right K," Sora joined in, "Kori will never film with those reddish marks all over her, at least some tattoo will give her some coverage."

"I agree," Kori added and took off that jacket of her to show the other band members those black words that wrapped around her neck and her right wrist; that covered most of the scars around the area. "You really need to use that brain of your instead of firing that stupid toy gun all the time!"

Giving that insult, K fired at Kori, blowing her into soot. "That's it, Kori Seguchi, that's the last time I get any insults from you! I'll let you get a taste of my 'toy gun'!"

(After an hour…)

"I think I'm dying…" (Kori dropped and fainted, while K stormed out of the room.)

----------------------------------

Days went past like this, with lots of arguments and fights that never seemed end. But days passed by every day with smiles at the end of the day. Sometimes tears and memories got into the way sometimes, but it was washed away easily with love and concern.

Kori's tattoos increases in every significant event. But that got her all perked up ever time she got a new one. Although K hates this a lot, the tattoos attracted a lot of fans for Nittle Grasper. Noriko Ukai, Shin's sister joined Nittle Grasper, in place of replacing the percussions with techno music. That was a promise between Shin and Kori, but it was very beneficial for the band, since Noriko's sexy self attracted a lot of male fans and her replacement of music makes the sings so perfect that even Ryuichi fell for songs again and again. Four different taste in just one band, this was a major success even though it was predicted to fail by many.

Soon Nittle Grasper topped the major music Rankings all over the world sending the crowd for more, forcing a their dream of the first Nittle Grasper concert to be pushed forward.

Kori and Ryuichi danced around the room in a wacky dance that they just came up minutes ago. Kori was so happy that she could hardly think for her own anymore. It was proven by the fact that she could not even choose what shoelace to put on that morning and the fact that she almost wore bathroom slippers to school.

"Hey, Kori chan, haven't you decided on the songs for the concert yet?" Noriko laughed and joined the dance.

"Nope." She replied and tapped her feet, "Just couldn't decide on any of them. Just by thinking about this worries me, K will kill me later if that's what I reply him."

The crowd laughed, but it was broken by some knocking on the door by Sora. "Start working on it then."

"Demo…" Kori whined and scratched her head, "Ryu and I just don't know which to choose, they're all great songs to me. And why are we the only people working on this? What about Touma and Noriko?"

"Yeah whatever," Sora grabbed Kori and Ryuichi by their collars and got them sitting on the meeting table. "I don't care. I had chosen some suitable songs from the first album. All you both need to do is to choose five songs for the concert and compose a new one for the concert, you hear me?" Sora then slammed a file onto the table to get the two to start working.

"Hai hai," the both of them replied lazily.

The both of them then sighed and open the file, staring at the list of songs.

_Chosen Songs:_

_Alice's Dream_

_Enraptured Pain_

_Love Fantasy_

_Predilection_

Shining Collection 

_Sleepless Beauty_

_Star Dust_

_The Game of Lost_

_Whisper_

"Okay?" Kori sighed and took the file. "Why not you come up with the beat and me with a song this time?" She told Ryuichi and lay on the table with puppy eyes facing Ryuichi, the god of puppy eyes, who seemed to be losing to her, "Please?"

Surrendering, Ryuichi grabbed the file from Kori, "Okay. I'll let you decide for that special song."

"Thanks Ryu."

--------------------------------------------------

"Hi Shin!" Kori greeted as she entered his shop, "I heard that your business is booming due to Noriko chan. Do you have time for me now?"

Shin laughed and grabbed onto Kori's arm to literally drag her in, "Well of course, you're one of my big customers ya know. I'll never regret the chance in get some major cash." Kori laughed and Shin continued, "Well, what do you want to do today huh? Breaking through some tattoo limits for some piercing?"

"Oh shut up Shin, K will kill me for that. I'm happy with just the tattoos." Kori snarled and took out a notebook, flipping to a particular page and showed it to Shin, "This string of words over my left arm. Can you do that?"

_**幸福還有那痛苦的回憶**_

_**溫馨的此刻即將遠去**_

_**可是這寧靜的夜晚還會繼續**_

_**一瞬間我感到即使這樣也是如此的美好**_

_**拋棄我一直以來依靠的感情吧**_

_**一切都由回憶所縴伴著**_

_(Translation)_

_Happiness and those Painful memories_

_The days of warmth will soon be gone_

_But this quiet night will continue_

_This moment felt so beautiful even so_

_Lets abandon those feelings I had always rely on_

_All will be linked through memories_

"Sure, I'm happy to." Shin replied immediately to her request and rush to prepare his equipments, "I really don't know why you're so obsessed in these but it really brings me good money."

Kori hissed a little and sat down on the chair provided in that room. Shin then sat beside her with his equipments, only to see that Kori was looking at the other tattoos, which Shin had done for her. (All the tattoos are wordings) Then, whistled when she saw that Shin was ready.

Shin poked the first needle into her arm and started to trace the words slowly while Kori began to sing. (To forget the pain actually, not anything significant.) Shin took his time, enjoying her voice while he did his job.

"A journal of pain, huh." Shin laughed and continued to do his job till it was done.

_**End

* * *

**_

Both Ryuichi and Kori ruled Nittle Grasper's music production.

**K**-Manager

**Sora**-Producer

**Touma**-Band Leader (Synthesizers)

**Ryuichi**-Vice Leader (Main Vocal)

**Kori**-Vocal, guitarist (she doesn't do synthesizers in the band since Touma and Noriko are in charge of it)

**Noriko**-Synthesizers, effects

**Eiri**- Ex-member (Drums)

Please Review……


	23. Central Stage

**Chapter 22**

**Central Stage**

Ryuichi sighed and gazed up at the sky. The never-ending snow that dropped from the sky really seemed to get on his nerves this particular winter. He sighed again and opened his can of cherry-flavored coca-cola with a quiet crack, gulping down a choking amount that really made him cough before slouching down in the couch and closing his eyes and losing himself in thoughts about what was to come over the next couple of days.

Nittle Grasper's first concert, Kori and his big dream, was looming ahead of them and advancing quickly. He couldn't help but be a little bit nervous about it. A little bit. Hell, he was scared to death. Their album had sold a record-breaking amount of a million copies in just twelve hours. He didn't want to disappoint the audience by messing up or anything that might get the show cancelled. To him, it was almost like the first time he got Kuma chan. But just one thing that might destroy the day is Kori. KORI! She still did not start on the song yet. And yet, she was sleeping soundly right beside him like as if the concert do not matter anymore to her.

'_She'll never disappoint me,'_ he tried to reassure himself. _'I must trust her, she's my best friend right?'_

He laughed. "But she hadn't even started on the song even though there was only a week to the big concert. _Only one damned week, seven days, away._"

Knowing that made him want to scream out loud and rip the hair from his head, but then he would wake Kori and the others up and what would he think if they saw him standing in a pile of his hair? They'd probably freak out and then K would kill him before it gets any worse. He couldn't help but laugh at it. The scene was really hilarious even though it's through his imagination.

A gentle hand on Ryuichi's thigh made him jump. He looked down to see Kori smiling upon him sleepily.

"What are you doing Ryu?" She yawned and hugged onto Kumagoro to get some warmth in the air-conditioned room, "Worried about the concert?"

Ryuichi chuckled and stroked Kori's soft hair "Sort of. But I'm more worried about that song or yours. When are you going to start writing it?"

Kori smirked and tugged herself more into Touma's jacket (which became her blanket when she fell asleep). "It's a song I know very well. Don't worry; I won't do anything stupid at this time of the day when everything's rushing. I had it all planned." she looked up at Ryuichi and smiled, placing her index finger at his cheek when he frowned. "You can trust me on that."

Ryuichi smiled and stared out the window, finally able to rest his mind on that issue. Then he sneezed and Kori offered to share the jacket, which they did.

"Sometimes I wonder if life's playing tricks on us," he whispered. "How can you still able to accept someone that easily that get yourself hurt then recover with no reasons at all?"

Kori sighed. "Yup, that's why I hate it. It really seems that life's so random."

Ryuichi chuckled and nodded his head slowly. "That is true. But tell me why. You could have just left me lying there on the school's bathroom the first time you found me. Why did you save me, knowing that what I want that time was death? You know that better than me."

He felt Kori's body tense as she began to take him as a support but he kept his tone even when he spoke. "True. But, do you wish that I hadn't found you? That you had died all alone that time ago and all these wouldn't have happened? Plus that I might had lost my mind."

Ryuichi laughed and shook his head. "No, because then I wouldn't be with you right now. It's just something that's been on my mind for a while now. I figured that it wouldn't hurt to ask."

Eiri sighed. "I'm so happy that I didn't die that time, all thanks to Touma. And seeing you there, dying… The emotions that flooded through me really caused me to go berserk. Seeing that my only friend is dying and leaving me here. It really burns inside."

Ryuichi smiled and stroke onto Kuma's head, seeing that it was a little lonely at that moment "Denial isn't an excuse for reducing to cutting ourselves to that pathetic state," he muttered.

Kori frowned a little and shut her eyes.

Ryuichi laughed and pulled the jacket to wrap him a little more. "Let's not think about those things, okay? We're alive. Kicking and happy and it's going to stay that way for the rest of our lives. I think it's time for us both to put the past behind us and move on."

Kori nodded and smirked, "Want to hear the special song before the concert?"

"Yeah sure." Ryuichi mumbled sleepily and laid onto Kori's shoulder letting the sandman do his job.

Kori smiled and open her lip, the familiar yet strangely lost tune blew out, unknowingly, there were ears listening to it.

How far should I go How much more do I have to know 

_I stayed at that spot thinking:_

"_How much further do I have to go?"_

_You never gave me a chance,_

_Saying that I'll always be a kid._

_I'm an amateur and all will always be just a dream._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_There, once again_

_You sang Baa baa black sheep._

_You made me remember that life is not fair,_

_Not fair at all._

_No one will ever had the same bag wool._

_That was a lie and that was truth._

_I couldn't remember those confusing words,_

_All I knew that it was just a fairy tale._

_Another time,_

_You sang about Mary._

_You told me that the little lamb followed her everyday,_

_Just like me._

_I'll always be leaning onto your back for support,_

_I'll always be the first who shall fall in love with you._

_I knew I couldn't trust your words,_

_But at last it came true._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_Today, I sat before you._

_I sang this song with you._

_You told me that I was childish, being ridiculously stupid_

_Like I always am._

_I'll never be able to grow up,_

_Remembering the haunting past that shall torture me._

_I'll always be a stupid kid,_

_Losing and gaining in every aspects of life._

_I couldn't grow up,_

_You wouldn't let me to._

_If I would be given a chance to do,_

_I'll let go of you,_

_Get you outta my life,_

_Get you outta my memories._

_I'll never get the chance to grow up._

_I'll always be stuck in those memories_

_In a dream._

_If I were to be given a chance,_

_I will grow up._

_Even if I'll be stuck in those memories,_

_I believe that it's just a dream._

-----------------------------------------------

The seven days of hell passed and there they stood before their crazy screaming fans that tempted them throw their equipments offstage to feed them. Finally they were in the face of that central stage they should take.

This was where they began contract with the gods of music. On the stage of a Tokyo clubhouse with hundreds, maybe even close to a thousand, people screaming for them to push themselves to the edge. Sweat was dripping from every pore of their body, soaking their clothes and sneaking into their eyes. The bright lights that beat down on them and made the crowd look like a blurred mass of multicolor blobs.

As Touma and Noriko played out the ending verse of "The game of Lost", Ryuichi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The screams of the fans were like a drug. He fed from them as he started to sing.

Grabbing onto Kori's waist as they twisted around in an erotic dance as fan service, Ryuichi screamed the verse through his microphone, causing it to blast to his fans as they screamed for more.

_I'm in distress,_

_I'm still digging my way out from the never-ending darkness_

_The world is falling on me_

_I'm not there to be sure._

_So are you going to hate me?_

_Are you gonna hurt me_

_Oh darn,_

_I can't get a grip on myself._

_I felt more like dying in this living hell._

_It's polluted by pain._

_Pain that just makes my life more difficult._

_This show is going to end._

_I'm wreaking it._

_Hate me if you do,_

_Hurt me if you will._

_Oh Jesus, I'm coming to an end._

Kori positioned herself behind her best friend, licking onto a layer of air that was so thin that her tongue almost touched his skin (fan service, and it's already planned), causing a rampage in the fans before she got herself in the echoing part to press the climax of the song.

_I was there in the moonlight_

_Ignored and find myself lost again._

_Why do I keep doing this?_

_Losing myself in the past _

_And took the chance to escape the future._

The sweat flowed into her eyes, creating a vision of her tears. The fans tried to comfort her, somehow an amusing sight to Kori as she was not really crying.

_I'm useless and should be long gone._

_I hate it when I'm me._

_I hate it when you say you love me._

_Why do I think so?_

_I don't know about it myself._

_All I knew was this is hell._

The song ended with a small gothic tune. The band members began to breathe once again. Half a second of silence before the crowd erupted into screams.

Ryuichi grabbed onto the stand and Kori went to were Touma synthesizers are to take the guitar she placed there before the concert start, "Are you ready to really ready to be burn to ashes?" The crowd roared. Assuming that they agreed, Ryuichi screamed again, " Let's begin another baby tune, we call it 'Sleepless Beauty'."

Touma strikes the keyboard first, then joined in by Noriko while Ryuichi began to concentrate. Kori then worked her guitar and began to play and Ryuichi shoots in.

_From faraway, let your eyes shine;_

_Those who have awakened are still waiting_

_Seduce the rampants of the night_

_In the cast-off pile of skin left by the things that now leave elsewhere._

_Without an exit_

_If you intend to survive the impact_

_To the point where you fall apart_

_Enrapture the deceits_

_You who have been reborn, colour your eyes without smiling alone._

_Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly_

_Burned into ash_

_In some miracles we could still brush into each other._

Then Kori added her voice in at this verse:

_Hold me gently_

_In order to break me_

Kori smirked and looked at Ryuichi, who was taken aback by Kori's join-in, but was glad that she did so as it really got the crowd fired up. Ryuichi then continued singing after the instrumentals.

_Be exposed in a state of purity_

_Like a flower whose petals have fallen._

_You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels_

_Cupped in you hand._

_A cold hand_

_Gathers up the shed thorns, so_

_A blank flame_

_Continues to smolder_

_Let's depict the vivid thoughts_

_Found in that place of light that is unreachable even now._

_Don't fear the passage of time,_

_So that words of guidance won't completely spill out and wash away._

Fingers swiftly moved through the keyboard. Ryuichi looked at the fans before him. He began to let his body take over the music and his mind began to run, realizing that he was really glad to be here, with his friends and fans.

_There's no where out_

_I'm falling further down_

Taking a little wince, Kori belted out the last few verse with Ryuichi.

_To the recarnation of you I say, colour your eyes without smiling alone._

_Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly_

_Burned to ash,_

_The miracles could still happen to come again._

_Let's depict the vividly dancing thoughts_

_Found in the place of light that is unreachable even now_

_Don't fear the passage of time,_

_So that words of guidance won't completely spill out and flow away._

_Hold me gently_

_Always catch me_

_More and more_

_In order to break my heart_

There was a moment of quietness after the song ended. The crowd roared and Ryuichi threw himself into Kori for an embrace, clearly getting his fans really jealous of Kori. Kori returned the hug and took over the microphone, "I think I'll just take over from here Ryu chan." She laughs and continued, "Here we go for you guys, and I'm sure that you'll love this encore."

She signals to Touma who started to play.

"I know our dear manager will kill me but I'm still going on an encore." She joked and Ryuichi stood by her and nodded his head. K frowned and stared at Kori, who made a little monkey face at K, inviting the crowd to turn their attention to their manager then back to the band again when Ryuichi laughed out loud. The crowd, going crazy because of the encore Kori's added, all began to scream their throats out before Kori began to sing.

The music went in a slow and gentle mood and Kori addresses the crowd again, "A little dedication to all who loves us and not, 'Me'."

_The_ _roses told me that you were in my dreams_

_All I begin to see was the trust that you gave me_

_My dreams were tattered, but you were always there_

_Be with me…giving me hope…_

_I was just a girl, a blue-eyed girl_

_In your dreams, that is me._

_As the time flows, my reflection remains the same._

_I could see, my name that's me._

_But you told me that I am me._

_No matter how much I wanna change myself,_

_I'll always be part of myself_

_That's just me that you want to see…_

Ryuichi, Touma and Noriko joined into the song, their voices combined into a kind of power that motivated the whole crowd to sing with Kori.

_I can be…myself_

_That's all I can be._

_I know that you will be_

_Right there with me_

_I can see…myself that I wanna be_

_Then I see…_

_That all I want is me._

Thoughts began to run through everyone's mind. Since before the band began and until they stood onto stage. Kori felt her mind began to drift, but she knew that even if she forgot her lyrics, everyone would backed her out as they will be there for her forever. He voice was shivered with her tears that began to flow down her face. Then Ryuichi appeared beside her and wrapped his arms over her shoulders and winked, as they continued the song.

_Then time follows, I was part of me_

_I knew that instant_

_The past that I knew I must be_

_Let me tell you_

_There's nothing such as a time machine_

_Even so_

_There's no way that that'll be erased_

_That part of me…_

Ryuichi too got himself emotional, but the spirit goes on. More joined in the song, and the whole backstage crew were singing as well, even K sang and that was a miracle.

_I can be…myself_

_That's all I can be._

_I know that you will be_

_Right there with me_

_I can see…myself that I wanna be_

_Then I see…_

_That all I want is me._

_I can be…myself_

_That's all I can be._

_I know that you will be_

_Right there with me_

_I can see…myself that I wanna be_

_Then I see…_

_That all I want is me._

_I can be…myself_

_That's all I can be._

_I know that you will be_

_Right there with me_

_I can see…myself that I wanna be_

_Then I see…_

_That all I want is me._

Then the crowd quiets down leaving the last verse to the main singer for the last verse:

_Then I know,_

_That all I am is me._

A simple song and a simple ending, but the crowd loved it and erupted into cheers while Kori began to cry and thank everyone between her sobs through the microphone.

The audience erupted into wild screams of satisfaction while Ryuichi and Kori joined hands as they doubled over in a deep bow.

"I love you people!" Kori said as they straightened up, wiping her tears at the same time.

"Yeah! You're awesome. Thanks for coming out tonight!"

"We'll see you soon!" they said in unison and gave on last small bow before exiting the stage.

The backstage area seemed to be eerily silent compared to the loud noises of the instruments and screams of the fans.

Kori fell into Touma's arms and kissed her brother on the cheek, "Thanks for saving me and Ryu or I'll regret it for tonight's concert."

Touma gave a little frown upon the memory but smiled when Kori jumped around him to get his attention. "I know I'm stupid but I love you Touma," she then turned to everyone else, "Ryuichi, Noriko and K."

Ryuichi laughed and stroke onto Kori's head quite roughly, like what you would do when you where stroking a puppy "Yeah, but you need not turn this into a speech you know."

Everyone laughed, but Kori just ignored them and ran out of the room and back onto the stage, which was quite quiet, as the crowd had left.

Ryuichi ran after the girl only to see that she was there dancing alone at the center of the stage while she was singing her own song, until she noticed her best friend and stopped, "I'm so glad to be alive Ryuichi." She smiled and turned herself around.

"So am I." Ryuichi replied and took her hand into a ball dance, humming to a song, "So am I."

Then their dance led them round and round and round across the stage. Their eyes closed and their bodies were pressed closer to one another, and before they knew it their lips closed onto one another's. And in other words, kissing in the plain spot light on the central stage.

**End

* * *

**

One last chapter before it comes to an end…

Please review…


	24. Hearts of the Graspers

**Chapter 23**

**Hearts of the Graspers**

"Shuichi, wait up!" Ryuichi screamed and pounced onto Shuichi, stopping him for walking any further "I'm visiting someone very special today, you wanna come with me?" he asked with his puppy eyes before K pulled him away. Shuichi hesitated for a little while before he agreed to sacrifice his romantic dinner with Eiri to meet up with his idol's special someone, whom Ryuichi had promised that the sacrifice would be worth it after he finds out about the mystery person.

The both of them met up after their last interview for the day outside NG's building and drove to an apartment nearby. Ryuichi and Kumagoro stepped out of the car first and then followed Bad Luck's lead vocalist, Shuichi Shindou, who was clearly excited about meeting the mystery person by the way be kept bouncing up and down beside his favorite idol.

Both the singers went up the building by lift using an access card Ryuichi got from the mystery person, in case the security doesn't allow him up the building. Then, finally they reached the door, which Ryuichi opened easily with the access card, only to find that someone had collapsed onto the floor, freaking out both the singers.

"KORI! Are you all right?" Ryuichi dropped onto his knees and bend down to look at the girl who looked up at him and smirked.

Shuichi merely stared at the situation. Seeing another Ryuichi when he was in front of this woman, who's body was filled with tattoo words and wore only a grey sleeveless dress and a pair of black track pants, wondering who this special person was that was able to alter Ryuichi's behavior in front of her.

Kori grabbed onto Ryuichi's shoulder and tried to pull herself up, but in vain, until Shuichi and Ryuichi both helped the girl up back into her wheelchair.

"What do you think you are doing Kori, trying to scare me?" Ryuichi growled and pinched her cheeks, only to be returned with a pinch on his nose by Kori.

"Like as if I would want to do such childish act," she replied with a baby voice that nearly took Shuichi by surprised and pushed the brunette away from her, "I was just going to get the door when I tripped over the steps, that's all." She said resuming back to her original slight husky voice and held both her hands to her chest like a little girl.

The two kept on arguing and arguing until they were interrupted by Shuichi's scream when he finally recognize the familiar voice that he had heard many years ago, "KORI SEGUCHI!"

Kori smiled, ignored Ryuichi, and greeted Shuichi, "You're Shuichi from Bad Luck right? I'm so happy to finally see you in person at last!" She squealed and approached Shuichi, slowly stood up and giving his a friendly hug before she fell back onto her wheelchair.

"Kori sama, it's been a long time since I last saw you," he began and pushed Kori to the living room so that they could all seat down and talk, "What happened after that first concert? I heard you almost died."

Ryuichi frowned a little but Kori laughed and stroked Ryuichi's head, who immediately perked up to his usual self. Ryuichi then began to tease Kori with Kumagoro until she got really annoyed and pushed Ryuichi away from her with her left hand. Then she answered, "As the News had reported then, the spot light broke and went crash onto me. It hit onto my head and created a clog in my brain pressing onto my nerves. It was a miracle that I didn't die then. But the clog had caused my legs to be immobile, that's why I couldn't stand for long." Shuichi apologized for asking but Kori laughed and continued, "I hope that had cleared your curiosity."

Ryuichi danced around and passed his bunny to Kori, who hugged it tight and reached for her pocket for her notebook. "Can you sign an autograph for me, Shuichi?" she begged. Recreating the time where Ryuichi himself asked for his autograph. "Please, please, please, please?"

It was an amusing sight but Shuichi still signed it for her, and was then rewarded with a kiss on his lips with a slight lick at his bottom lip and replied simply a "Thank you!"

Ryuichi laughed as Shuichi began to blush upon the kiss, "You know what Shu chan, Eiri was Kori's ex-lover back in high school."

Shuichi jumped and stared at Kori, who smiled at Shuichi with her hands stroking on the pink bunny. Kori observed his looks (which was filled with fear of losing Eiri) and laughed, only to reply when Shuichi's gave a very puzzled expression, "That was good times, but Eiri was my first love and we broke up when he left for New York. Then I had Ryuichi."

Ryuichi added in, "Then we eventually broke up because of your legs, then I went with Tat chan, then you fell in love with Shin eventually. What a turn!"

Kori glared at Ryuichi and screamed in protests, "I'm not going out with Shin and it's the last time I'm repeating this!" Ryuichi laughed and teased her with his bunny. The blonde eventually got mad and strangled the brunette until he choked that she let go of his neck.

Shuichi sighed in relieve and lay his back onto the couch, before Kori crept out of the wheelchair and sat beside Shuichi. Landing another kiss onto Shuichi's cheeks, just to get his attention, she whispered, "Although it is not reported to the fans, Eiri used to be part of Nittle Grasper."

"Yuki?" Shuichi gasped and stared at Kori, "Really?"

Ryuichi and Kori laughed and answered, "YES, YOUR YUKI EIRI WAS AN EX-MEMBER OF NITTLE GRASPER!"

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Eiri was beginning to get some thinking that something's bad's going to happen when Shuichi's not home yet after ten. It was unlikely for him to be worried as Shuichi often had to work overnight, but this time it was different. Something was definitely not right at all.

The door finally cracked and Eiri rushed to the door to see if Shuichi's in trouble but...

"Hi Eiri!" Kori greeted and pushed herself in, after which a pink-haired chibi pounces onto Eiri, "YUKI!" and eventually sucked onto his lips with a kiss until he heard a knock by the door.

Shocked, Eiri fell back and looked at the girl in the wheelchair who kept smiling back at him. Eiri stood up and closed the door, still shocked and everything, and invited Kori into his apartment. (Cause' Shuichi insisted so.)

"When...Why are you?" Eiri blurted out only to be stopped by Shuichi's should-not-be-added speech.

"Kori kissed me just now Eiri, on the lips and cheek." He said excitedly.

Eiri stared and growled at the annoying puppy, scaring him right into Kori's embrace. Kori smirked at Eiri and stroked the pup until he was calm. (Making Eiri really jealous.) Still smiling, she replied, "I was back just today from UK. And here to meet up with some old pals."

Kori's eyes never left Eiri's, but she knew that her ex-lover could not take more pressure from her so she stopped teasing him and apologized. Then Eiri asked the same question about her legs and she answered him honestly, and Eiri immediately regretted flying to New York that time.

"Don't bother Eiri," she comforted him, "Ryuichi was there that time too, but I pushed him away, to avoid him being hurt. He was so worried about me then." She laughed. "Then eventually I quit the career."

"Why?" Shuichi asked "Wasn't that like your entire life?"

Kori stared at Shuichi, then the tattoo on her wrist, "Who told you that you can't sing if you're not a star Shuichi? I can still sing."

Shuichi nodded and sighed, "But what a pity. I used to love your voice so much."

Eiri gazed at Shuichi and kissed him on the cheeks. "Since you love it so much, do you want to hear the both of us sing?" he asked with a grin.

His eyes burst open and nodded furiously while the ex-members of Nittle grasper greeted their only audience. "This is Kori Seguchi here and I have here Eiri Uesugi with me, dedicating to you, Shuichi Shindou, 'Hearts of the Graspers'."

Shuichi smiled and nodded furiously while Kori smirked, finding that even Eiri was agreeable in this treat for Shuichi. Anyway, Kori was getting a lot of attention from Shuichi that Eiri was getting a little annoyed.

Eiri got Shuichi's synthesizers from his room and placed it in front of Kori, whose fingers ran through the keyboards like magic as Eiri sang the first verse.

_The road is set and it's time to go_

_See the road and off we go!_

_That's the spirit, we all share_

_The hearts of the graspers._

Kori gazed at the keyboard and hit in her verse, when Shuichi erupted into fan screams, getting Eiri jealous of Kori.

_Hey it's time to follow our dream_

_The plan's we've made_

_It's just the right time to begin our mark_

_We will never give up,_

_Come' on let's go._

_I've put the past behind me,_

_Trying to conquer this vivid dream._

_That's all I need_

_So if you're all here with me_

_We'll all have hearts of the graspers!_

Kori and Eiri smirked at one another, recreating the time they were first in the recording studio. When they put their hopes and dreams onto their music.

_To try and succeed is not enough_

_Hey,_

_We must succeed._

_Let me tell you this little dream of mine._

_I try hard and harder to grasp._

_Which is of course_

_To just..._

_The road is set and it's time to go_

_See the road and off we go!_

_That's the spirit, we all share_

_The hearts of the graspers._

_Hey we have our own dreams_

_The plan's we've made_

_I know we can do it, so_

_We will never give up,_

_Come' on let's go._

_I've put the past behind me,_

_Trying to conquer this vivid dream._

_That's all I need_

_So if you're all here with me_

_We'll all have hearts of the graspers!_

_I know that it never ends._

_Those dreams that we all want to conquer so much_

_So that's why I said_

_We have the Hearts of the Graspers!_

Kori shuts her eyes and sang with her might and only to open to check that if she had hit the correct key on the keyboard.

_Hey it's time to follow our dream_

_The plan's we've made_

_I know we can do it, so_

_We will never give up,_

_Come' on let's go._

_Hey it's time to follow our dream_

_The plan's we've made_

_It's just the right time to begin our mark_

_We will never give up,_

_Come' on let's go._

_I've put the past behind me,_

_Trying to conquer this vivid dream._

_That's all I need_

So if you're all here with me 

_We'll all have hearts of the graspers!_

One last verse.

_The road is set and it's time to go_

_See the road and off we go!_

_That's the spirit, we all share_

_The hearts of the graspers._

**-END-

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So the story ends in a song. Thanks for all who had read the story and those I get my ideas for the story from. Thank you. I wish all of you a merry X'mas and a happy 2007!


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